I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
***
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'
***
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
***
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
***
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
***
I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
***
Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!
***
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
***
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
***
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
***
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
***
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
***
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
***
I'm living on a one-way dead end street. I don't know how I got there.
***
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?
***
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
***
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
***
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
***
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
***
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
***
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
***
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
***
How young can you die of old age?
***
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
***
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
***
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Perfectionism
Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person.
- Dr. David M. Burns
You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out
- Martha Graham
- Dr. David M. Burns
You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out
- Martha Graham
Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- Anonymous
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- Anonymous
The Year 1908
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1908.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :
************ ********* ********* ******
The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax
or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.'
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time
servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND!!!!!!!!!!!
The year is 1908.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :
************ ********* ********* ******
The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax
or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.'
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time
servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
More at the Rock Shop
This is the shop's mascot who sleeps on the shelf and bumps against everyone who comes in.
Hand carved dragon which is very neat.
Spheres as far as the eye can see!
This is a piece of St. Helen's obsidian which forms whenever St. Helen's erupts -- a gorgeous green!
Goofy Monk
A Well-Known Monk
A wandering monk walked barefoot everywhere he went, to the point that the soles of his feet eventually became quite thick and leathery. And because he ate very little, he gradually became very frail. Several days often passed between opportunities to brush his teeth, so he usually had bad breath.
Therefore, throughout the region, he came to be known as the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
A wandering monk walked barefoot everywhere he went, to the point that the soles of his feet eventually became quite thick and leathery. And because he ate very little, he gradually became very frail. Several days often passed between opportunities to brush his teeth, so he usually had bad breath.
Therefore, throughout the region, he came to be known as the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
More than you ever wanted to Know
A Mexican jumping bean is a phenomenon native to Mexico
(where it is known as a brincador, or "hopper"). Physically, Mexican jumping beans resemble small tan to brown beans. They are a type of seed in which the egg of a small moth has been laid. It is the moth's larva which makes them 'jump'.
The beans jump as a survival measure in order to protect the
larvae from the heat, which can cause them to dry out. The ultraviolet rays from the sun stimulate them to jump, even in cool temperatures, but leaving them in the sun for extended periods will dehydrate and kill them.
When the bean is abruptly warmed, for instance by being held in
the palm of the hand, the larva twitches and spasms, pulling on
the threads and causing the characteristic hop.
The Mexican Jumping Bean (Laspeyresia Saltitans) comes from
the mountains in the states of Sonora Sinaloa and Chihuahua;
indeed, Álamos, Sonora, claims to be "the jumping bean capital of the world".
-------------------------------------------------------------------
We used to have some of these when we were kids and thought they were really cool.
(where it is known as a brincador, or "hopper"). Physically, Mexican jumping beans resemble small tan to brown beans. They are a type of seed in which the egg of a small moth has been laid. It is the moth's larva which makes them 'jump'.
The beans jump as a survival measure in order to protect the
larvae from the heat, which can cause them to dry out. The ultraviolet rays from the sun stimulate them to jump, even in cool temperatures, but leaving them in the sun for extended periods will dehydrate and kill them.
When the bean is abruptly warmed, for instance by being held in
the palm of the hand, the larva twitches and spasms, pulling on
the threads and causing the characteristic hop.
The Mexican Jumping Bean (Laspeyresia Saltitans) comes from
the mountains in the states of Sonora Sinaloa and Chihuahua;
indeed, Álamos, Sonora, claims to be "the jumping bean capital of the world".
-------------------------------------------------------------------
We used to have some of these when we were kids and thought they were really cool.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wanna Buy a Bull?
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - -
("com-for-da-bul" )
After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - -
("com-for-da-bul" )
I Winned, I Winned, I Winned!!!
I got a phone call from a female a few days ago but was unable to understand what she was saying because of her heavy accent. All I got from the conversation was that she was mailing me a gift card I won, actually she said, "I put mail."
Today in the mail I got notification that I'd won and inside was a $100 gift card for Chili's restaurant! Just for taking a survey about gift cards!
Steve no longer questions why I take so many surveys. I've gotten several small checks, one $50 check for a medical survey, and we've gotten samples of stuff in the mail when I agree to take a survey about the product after we try it. There's really nothing to lose if you choose the right survey companies and you have time on your hands.
Assault with a Deadly Hedgehog?
A 27-year-old man faces a possible 5 years in prison after attacking a 15-year-old boy with a hedgehog. The man threw the animal from around 15 feet away and hit the youngster on the leg. The boy suffered a large red welt and puncture marks. When police arrived, the animal was dead. It’s not clear yet whether the man’s actions resulted in the death of the hedgehog.
Courtesy Exploding Cigar News
Courtesy Exploding Cigar News
Just Plain Strange
Two Deceased Triplets Removed From Abdomen of 1-Year-Old Girl
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
A 1-year-old girl's deceased siblings were removed from her abdomen by Indonesian doctors at Sumatra island hospital, according to a report from French news agency AFP.
The two bodies, believed to be triplets that did not fully develop, were successfully removed from the girl Tuesday during a five-hour surgery, the head of medical services at the main state hospital in the West Sumatra city of Padang told AFP.
The girl had initially been diagnosed with stomach tumors, however doctors later discovered her abdominal discomfort was the result of two deceased siblings connected to her digestive tract.
One of the bodies was complete except for limbs. The second had only a head with hairs and part of its digestive system.
Fox News
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
A 1-year-old girl's deceased siblings were removed from her abdomen by Indonesian doctors at Sumatra island hospital, according to a report from French news agency AFP.
The two bodies, believed to be triplets that did not fully develop, were successfully removed from the girl Tuesday during a five-hour surgery, the head of medical services at the main state hospital in the West Sumatra city of Padang told AFP.
The girl had initially been diagnosed with stomach tumors, however doctors later discovered her abdominal discomfort was the result of two deceased siblings connected to her digestive tract.
One of the bodies was complete except for limbs. The second had only a head with hairs and part of its digestive system.
Fox News
How'd It Get There?
Surgeons: Man's 'Tumor' Turned Out to Be 25-Year-Old Towel
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Surgeons in Japan thought they were removing a tumor from a 49-year-old man who was suffering from abdominal pain in late May.
Instead, they found a 25-year-old surgical towel that had crumpled into what looked like a softball-shaped tumor, Agence France-Presse reported.
The patient apparently had been carrying the cloth since 1983, when surgeons left it in him after minor ulcer surgery.
He went to Asahi General Hospital in late May after suffering pain. Doctors, at the time, found what they believed to be an 8-centimeter tumor.
According to an Asahi General Hospital spokesman: "The towel was greenish-blue although we are not sure about its original color."
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Surgeons in Japan thought they were removing a tumor from a 49-year-old man who was suffering from abdominal pain in late May.
Instead, they found a 25-year-old surgical towel that had crumpled into what looked like a softball-shaped tumor, Agence France-Presse reported.
The patient apparently had been carrying the cloth since 1983, when surgeons left it in him after minor ulcer surgery.
He went to Asahi General Hospital in late May after suffering pain. Doctors, at the time, found what they believed to be an 8-centimeter tumor.
According to an Asahi General Hospital spokesman: "The towel was greenish-blue although we are not sure about its original color."
Be Grateful She's Not Yours!
Girl, 8, Survives Swallowing 20 Steel Marbles, 10 Magnets
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
HUNTINGBURG, Ind. — The parents of an 8-year-old southern Indiana girl who swallowed 20 marble-size steel balls and half as many magnets from a building set want the toy completely removed from stores.
Haley Lents of Huntingburg underwent emergency intestinal surgery last month in Indianapolis after she swallowed pieces from her Mega Brands Magnetix MagnaCase set.
She was taken to the emergency room for stomach pains, and an X-ray revealed the force from the magnets had torn her intestines in eight places.
Doctors told Haley's parents her intestines looked like they had been punctured by eight gunshot wounds or stab-like holes, Haley's father told CBS' Early Show on Monday; it is being reported by cbsnews.com.
Haley, who spent two weeks in the hospital, is lucky to be alive, doctors said, according to cbsnews.com.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
HUNTINGBURG, Ind. — The parents of an 8-year-old southern Indiana girl who swallowed 20 marble-size steel balls and half as many magnets from a building set want the toy completely removed from stores.
Haley Lents of Huntingburg underwent emergency intestinal surgery last month in Indianapolis after she swallowed pieces from her Mega Brands Magnetix MagnaCase set.
She was taken to the emergency room for stomach pains, and an X-ray revealed the force from the magnets had torn her intestines in eight places.
Doctors told Haley's parents her intestines looked like they had been punctured by eight gunshot wounds or stab-like holes, Haley's father told CBS' Early Show on Monday; it is being reported by cbsnews.com.
Haley, who spent two weeks in the hospital, is lucky to be alive, doctors said, according to cbsnews.com.
Wanna Make a Manure Bomb?
'Manure-Bomb' Thieves Fall Into Dung, Flee Crime Scene Naked
Friday, June 27, 2008
BERLIN, Germany — A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said on Friday.
Two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen on Wednesday evening and started to fill the stockings with manure.
"One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck," said a spokesman for local police. "The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear."
Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs," but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2.
"The women can get their clothes back from the local police station — unwashed," the spokesman added.
Courtesy Fox News
Friday, June 27, 2008
BERLIN, Germany — A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said on Friday.
Two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen on Wednesday evening and started to fill the stockings with manure.
"One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck," said a spokesman for local police. "The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear."
Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs," but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2.
"The women can get their clothes back from the local police station — unwashed," the spokesman added.
Courtesy Fox News
My Heart Dont' Bleed
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP) -- .J. Simpson says an ambitious Nevada prosecutor is pressing a kidnapping and armed robbery case against him that he says even the alleged victims don't want to pursue.
O.J. Simpson told a radio station reporter that he feels he is being personally targeted.
"If I was anybody else, I wouldn't be going to court," Simpson told a reporter for Fargo, N.D., radio station KFGO who interviewed him late Tuesday at a Fargo cigar bar. Simpson was vacationing in eastern North Dakota and northwestern Minnesota.
"How many trials have you ever heard of where both of the victims say they don't want this guy to go to jail, they don't want to go to court, and you still go to court?" Simpson asked. "It's only me.
"But unfortunately for me," Simpson said, "I got like a bull's eye on my front, dollar sign on my back, you get involved with people who want to be governor and stuff."
O.J. Simpson told a radio station reporter that he feels he is being personally targeted.
"If I was anybody else, I wouldn't be going to court," Simpson told a reporter for Fargo, N.D., radio station KFGO who interviewed him late Tuesday at a Fargo cigar bar. Simpson was vacationing in eastern North Dakota and northwestern Minnesota.
"How many trials have you ever heard of where both of the victims say they don't want this guy to go to jail, they don't want to go to court, and you still go to court?" Simpson asked. "It's only me.
"But unfortunately for me," Simpson said, "I got like a bull's eye on my front, dollar sign on my back, you get involved with people who want to be governor and stuff."
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Rocks in our Heads
We went to Denny's for breakfast today and then stopped for the second time at Creekside Gems & Minerals nearby. What a neat store! Dad would've had a great time in this place and probably would've talked to no end with the proprietor, Lisa. She is extremely knowledgeable and travels a great to with her husband; they're both gemologists. Just like Mom and Dad!Needless to say, Steve went nuts when he learned that she carried dinosaur bones. He got to actually hold a dinosaur egg (photo below) for the first time! He's been a dinosaur freak since he was a kid, and that was confirmed today.
This amethyst sphere is about 10" in diameter and it sells for $850 because of a natural crack in it that allows you to see inside the geode.
These fossils are embedded by nature and really interesting pieces.
Cats vs. Dogs
What is a Cat?
1) Cats do what they want.
2) They rarely listen to you.
3) They're totally unpredictable.
4) They whine when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8) They're moody.
9) They leave hair everywhere.
10) They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1) Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2) They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3) They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4) They growl when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to play.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They are great at begging.
8) They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9) They leave their toys everywhere.
10) They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats
1) Cats do what they want.
2) They rarely listen to you.
3) They're totally unpredictable.
4) They whine when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8) They're moody.
9) They leave hair everywhere.
10) They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1) Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2) They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3) They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4) They growl when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to play.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They are great at begging.
8) They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9) They leave their toys everywhere.
10) They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats
Sweet Research
By Matt Sedensky
12:55 a.m. ET, Thurs., June. 26, 2008
MIAMI - Government scientists are launching a five-year project Thursday aimed at safeguarding the world's chocolate supply by dissecting the genome of the cocoa bean.
A U.S. Department of Agriculture team based here, funded with more than $10 million from Mars Inc., will analyze the more than 400 million parts of the cocoa genome, a process that could help battle crippling crop diseases and even lead to better-tasting chocolate.
Wonder if they need any taste testers...
12:55 a.m. ET, Thurs., June. 26, 2008
MIAMI - Government scientists are launching a five-year project Thursday aimed at safeguarding the world's chocolate supply by dissecting the genome of the cocoa bean.
A U.S. Department of Agriculture team based here, funded with more than $10 million from Mars Inc., will analyze the more than 400 million parts of the cocoa genome, a process that could help battle crippling crop diseases and even lead to better-tasting chocolate.
Wonder if they need any taste testers...
Trivial but Cool
Did you know...
... that today is Good Earth Day? On the birthday of Pearl
Buck, author of "The Good Earth," celebrate the earth. Take
time today to go outside and just enjoy what's around you!
~~~
Today's Inspirational Quote:
"When I hear somebody say, Life is hard, I am always tempted to
ask, Compared to what?"
-- Sydney J. Harris
... that today is Good Earth Day? On the birthday of Pearl
Buck, author of "The Good Earth," celebrate the earth. Take
time today to go outside and just enjoy what's around you!
~~~
Today's Inspirational Quote:
"When I hear somebody say, Life is hard, I am always tempted to
ask, Compared to what?"
-- Sydney J. Harris
A Snippet of George Carlin
Here are a few of his greatest - and cleanest - jokes:
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
In America, anyone can become President. That's the problem.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
dgoldiner@nydailynews.com
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
In America, anyone can become President. That's the problem.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
dgoldiner@nydailynews.com
When Folks Have Too Much Money
Blood-Soaked Sopranos Costume Draws Nearly $44,000 at Charity Auction
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
This striped bathrobe with tank top, striped boxers and a pair of leather slippers was sold at Christie's Pop Culture auction.
This striped bathrobe with tank top, striped boxers and a pair of leather slippers was sold at Christie's Pop Culture auction.
NEW YORK — One used, black and beige short-sleeve polo shirt, a tank top and black pants: $43,750.
Inflation run amok? Nope — just the premium you pay for the blood of Tony-Soprano.
Twenty-five outfits worn by James Gandolfini's alter ego raised $187,750 at auction Wednesday for a charity that aids wounded soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Gandolfini attended part of the Christie's auction with a soldier from the nonprofit Wounded Warrior Project.
The highest bid was for the faux-bloodstained suit of clothes, including the shirt, tank top and pants the actor wore in a scene when Tony is shot by a demented Uncle Junior.
The next highest bid was $21,250 for a four-piece costume that included a blue, red and yellow striped robe and boxer shorts that Tony wore in numerous episodes of the smash HBO series.
Other top-selling outfits included a tan cotton bathrobe with lavender trim and 'S' insignia on the breast pocket that was featured in the pilot when Tony fetched the morning paper and fed the ducks in his pool. It fetched $13,750.
All of the outfits were authenticated by Gandolfini and many had the original production tags attached.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
This striped bathrobe with tank top, striped boxers and a pair of leather slippers was sold at Christie's Pop Culture auction.
This striped bathrobe with tank top, striped boxers and a pair of leather slippers was sold at Christie's Pop Culture auction.
NEW YORK — One used, black and beige short-sleeve polo shirt, a tank top and black pants: $43,750.
Inflation run amok? Nope — just the premium you pay for the blood of Tony-Soprano.
Twenty-five outfits worn by James Gandolfini's alter ego raised $187,750 at auction Wednesday for a charity that aids wounded soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Gandolfini attended part of the Christie's auction with a soldier from the nonprofit Wounded Warrior Project.
The highest bid was for the faux-bloodstained suit of clothes, including the shirt, tank top and pants the actor wore in a scene when Tony is shot by a demented Uncle Junior.
The next highest bid was $21,250 for a four-piece costume that included a blue, red and yellow striped robe and boxer shorts that Tony wore in numerous episodes of the smash HBO series.
Other top-selling outfits included a tan cotton bathrobe with lavender trim and 'S' insignia on the breast pocket that was featured in the pilot when Tony fetched the morning paper and fed the ducks in his pool. It fetched $13,750.
All of the outfits were authenticated by Gandolfini and many had the original production tags attached.
Another Medical Mistake
N.J. Surgeon's License Suspended After He Removes Wrong Lung
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
TRENTON, N.J. — A New Jersey surgeon's medical license was suspended after state regulators found he removed the wrong lung from a patient, then tried to conceal the error.
The State Board of Medical Examiners found Dr. Santusht Perera moved a portion of the patient's right lung when he should have been removing a tumor in the left lung, the state Attorney General's Office said Wednesday.
Perera, according to the board, then told the patient that the right lung contained a life-threatening tumor, though there was no such growth. He also altered the patient's records to show he intended to operate on the right lung.
The board determined that Perera's actions constituted gross negligence.
The board said the "tragic error" could have been prevented if Dr. Perera had taken "the most basic and minimal of actions that should be taken by a surgeon in advance of surgery."
Perera, who practices at Hoboken University Medical Center, was assessed $81,000 in fines and reimbursement costs.
His lawyer, Michael J. Keating, is on vacation and not available for comment, his office said Wednesday.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
TRENTON, N.J. — A New Jersey surgeon's medical license was suspended after state regulators found he removed the wrong lung from a patient, then tried to conceal the error.
The State Board of Medical Examiners found Dr. Santusht Perera moved a portion of the patient's right lung when he should have been removing a tumor in the left lung, the state Attorney General's Office said Wednesday.
Perera, according to the board, then told the patient that the right lung contained a life-threatening tumor, though there was no such growth. He also altered the patient's records to show he intended to operate on the right lung.
The board determined that Perera's actions constituted gross negligence.
The board said the "tragic error" could have been prevented if Dr. Perera had taken "the most basic and minimal of actions that should be taken by a surgeon in advance of surgery."
Perera, who practices at Hoboken University Medical Center, was assessed $81,000 in fines and reimbursement costs.
His lawyer, Michael J. Keating, is on vacation and not available for comment, his office said Wednesday.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Marriage Seminar
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The rest of the story is not pleasant.
He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The rest of the story is not pleasant.
Quotes to Go
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
Victor Borge
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper
“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”
Author not provided
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
"It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
Oscar Wilde
“Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”
Author not provided
"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.”
Josh Groban
“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Paula Poundstone
"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music”
Gareth Owen
"I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
Rodney Dangerfield
Victor Borge
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper
“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”
Author not provided
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
"It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
Oscar Wilde
“Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”
Author not provided
"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.”
Josh Groban
“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Paula Poundstone
"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music”
Gareth Owen
"I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
Rodney Dangerfield
Sorry -- Can't Help Myself
The Island of Trid
Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.
It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick him into the ocean. Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean.
The Trids were a very sexual people, and the population had grown quite large. Every square inch of the island, except the mountain, was crowded with Trids.
The Trids spent their days crowded together, dreaming of the open space available on the ever visible mountain. Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand the crowds any more. He would start to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean.The Trids were a very depressed people.
One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the Trids were extremely generous to this man of God.
The Rabbi decided to return the favor, and to go plead the Trid's case to the Giant. "Surely the Giant can be convinced to share some of the mountain with you," the Rabbi explained.
The Trids were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids implored. "The Giant will kick you into the ocean, and you will surely drown."
The Rabbi was stubborn, and insisted that he talk to the Giant. The Trids sent out every boat they had. They formed a ring around the island, so that they would be able to rescue the Rabbi.
The Rabbi started walking towards the mountain. No sign of the Giant.
He walked through the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant.
He started up the slopes of the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.
Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There the Giant was waiting for him. The Rabbi asked "Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off the moment I started climbing?"
And the Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.
It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick him into the ocean. Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean.
The Trids were a very sexual people, and the population had grown quite large. Every square inch of the island, except the mountain, was crowded with Trids.
The Trids spent their days crowded together, dreaming of the open space available on the ever visible mountain. Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand the crowds any more. He would start to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean.The Trids were a very depressed people.
One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the Trids were extremely generous to this man of God.
The Rabbi decided to return the favor, and to go plead the Trid's case to the Giant. "Surely the Giant can be convinced to share some of the mountain with you," the Rabbi explained.
The Trids were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids implored. "The Giant will kick you into the ocean, and you will surely drown."
The Rabbi was stubborn, and insisted that he talk to the Giant. The Trids sent out every boat they had. They formed a ring around the island, so that they would be able to rescue the Rabbi.
The Rabbi started walking towards the mountain. No sign of the Giant.
He walked through the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant.
He started up the slopes of the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.
Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There the Giant was waiting for him. The Rabbi asked "Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off the moment I started climbing?"
And the Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
The Elusive Doubloon
If you are a fisherperson in Florida, you learn very quickly how to keep track of high and low tides. If you go to a bait shop, they will undoubtedly provide you with a free tide report for the month and this guides you. If the tide is too low, there's not much point in fishing since there won't be much to catch. When the tide is high, the water is deeper and your chance of catching something increases; also you are more apt to see a manatee or perhaps a dolphin during high tide.
We headed to the beach today and hung out for about two hours. My quest continues for a doubloon from a sunken pirate ship or I'd even settle for a diamond ring. I even found a child's plastic beach shovel to dig in the sand. No such luck. The tide was really low and I walked out at least 300 feet before the water was even up to my knees! I noticed that everyone on the beach is looking down as they walk -- probably looking for MY doubloon!
I visited Florida for the first time after Slug and Dick moved here and I told Slug I could never live here with the humidity. Never say never. Now I don't think I'd ever want to live anywhere that's not on the ocean. Looking out on the endless ocean is a reminder of how small we are and how important it is to carve our own niche in life.
What I'm saying is that we're really happy here and we have a good life together. Finally.
We headed to the beach today and hung out for about two hours. My quest continues for a doubloon from a sunken pirate ship or I'd even settle for a diamond ring. I even found a child's plastic beach shovel to dig in the sand. No such luck. The tide was really low and I walked out at least 300 feet before the water was even up to my knees! I noticed that everyone on the beach is looking down as they walk -- probably looking for MY doubloon!
I visited Florida for the first time after Slug and Dick moved here and I told Slug I could never live here with the humidity. Never say never. Now I don't think I'd ever want to live anywhere that's not on the ocean. Looking out on the endless ocean is a reminder of how small we are and how important it is to carve our own niche in life.
What I'm saying is that we're really happy here and we have a good life together. Finally.
I Oughta Live to 100!!!
Coffee drinkers may live longer
A new study has found that drinking up to six cups a day of caffeinated or decaffeinated coffee daily does not increase the risk of death and may even help the heart, especially for women.
Scientists looked at health data for 42,000 men and 84,000 women and found that women who drank two or three cups of caffeinated coffee daily had a 25 percent lower risk of death from heart disease and an 18 percent lower death risk from a cause other than cancer than non-drinkers.
For men, drinking two to three cups of caffeinated coffee daily was not associated with either an increased or a decreased risk of death.
A new study has found that drinking up to six cups a day of caffeinated or decaffeinated coffee daily does not increase the risk of death and may even help the heart, especially for women.
Scientists looked at health data for 42,000 men and 84,000 women and found that women who drank two or three cups of caffeinated coffee daily had a 25 percent lower risk of death from heart disease and an 18 percent lower death risk from a cause other than cancer than non-drinkers.
For men, drinking two to three cups of caffeinated coffee daily was not associated with either an increased or a decreased risk of death.
Monday, June 23, 2008
For White Castle Fans
WHITE CASTLE
There was one on the corner
on the way to school
like a way station or a monument.
It had a tower with crenellations
and waitresses in white.
I sat down for a hamburger once,
and worried aloud that the cook
was overcooking my patty.
“You want it raw?” she snapped,
and smacked it down in front of me,
on its bun. Even then I was a
restaurant critic; but this exchange
didn’t dent the mystique.
Ed Rossmann
There was one on the corner
on the way to school
like a way station or a monument.
It had a tower with crenellations
and waitresses in white.
I sat down for a hamburger once,
and worried aloud that the cook
was overcooking my patty.
“You want it raw?” she snapped,
and smacked it down in front of me,
on its bun. Even then I was a
restaurant critic; but this exchange
didn’t dent the mystique.
Ed Rossmann
A Bit of George Carlin
Here are a few of our favorite Carlin "health-related" one-liners:
#1 Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
#2 Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
#3 The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
#4 Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
#5 I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
#1 Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
#2 Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
#3 The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
#4 Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
#5 I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
Family Guy Stuff
"I say we fight the British and drive them back to whatever country they came from!"
Peter on FAMILY GUY
Peter on FAMILY GUY
Spoiled and Under 30?
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see,
you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire .. imagine that!
If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 !
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see,
you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire .. imagine that!
If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 !
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
Ah Yes, I Remember It
Today is the birthday of the Remington Typewriter?
Christopher Sholes received a patent for the typewriter in
1868. Six years later in July 1874, Sholes introduced the
Remington No. 1, the first commercially successful typewriter.
Just think of how many people have never ever touched a
typewriter!
Christopher Sholes received a patent for the typewriter in
1868. Six years later in July 1874, Sholes introduced the
Remington No. 1, the first commercially successful typewriter.
Just think of how many people have never ever touched a
typewriter!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
PC Problems
Courtesy Willie
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that? In case I have to fix it again."
Eric grinned...."Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you will figure it out."
So I wrote down: ID10T
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that? In case I have to fix it again."
Eric grinned...."Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you will figure it out."
So I wrote down: ID10T
Friday, June 20, 2008
My Old Man and the Sea
We'd planned on going to the beach today, but I was feeling really lazy and wanted to hang out and watch a movie or read my book and Steve decided to go down and fish off the dock.
Things were going well for him -- he came back up just after throwing his pole out and had this drum fish! He was really on a roll.
He went back to the dock and caught yet another drum fish! A great day for my Old Man and the Sea!
So I'm farting around on Facebook when all of a sudden I hear Steve yelling to come down there fast! I assumed he'd caught something really cool so I grabbed the camera (courtesy of Jules) and beat a path to the dock.
On my way down, I hear Steve yelling: "Hurry up, hurry up!" He had a one-pound catfish in his hand and the fish had injected some kind of defense mechanism that looks like a spiny gill into his hand between the second and third fingers! So here I am with the camera and he's screaming for me to cut the gill 'cause the fish keeps jumping and if he lets it go it'll yank the spiny thing in his hand. He has a fishing pliers in his bucket so I cut the gill which leaves almost two inches of it in his hand. He's bleeding a lot, cursing a lot, and then he grabs the pliers and pulls the spine out of his hand.
Now I'm wondering what kind of disease you can get from having fish stuff in your hand, but he's still cursing from the pain. He decides it's a good time to call it a day with the fishing since his hand is now useless and we head upstairs to wash the hand which is still bleeding. He finally lays down on the bed but keeps popping up as only Steve can do. He takes a Vicodin for the pain and two aspirin, and finally gets a bandage on the hand.
His hand is swelling up so we put ice in a plastic glove on it and I think he may have actually fallen asleep.
Oh, by the way, the catfish died from lack of oxygen during this fiasco, but there was no other way.
Kinda puts a damper on today's fishing experience for him. And me.
Things were going well for him -- he came back up just after throwing his pole out and had this drum fish! He was really on a roll.
He went back to the dock and caught yet another drum fish! A great day for my Old Man and the Sea!So I'm farting around on Facebook when all of a sudden I hear Steve yelling to come down there fast! I assumed he'd caught something really cool so I grabbed the camera (courtesy of Jules) and beat a path to the dock.
On my way down, I hear Steve yelling: "Hurry up, hurry up!" He had a one-pound catfish in his hand and the fish had injected some kind of defense mechanism that looks like a spiny gill into his hand between the second and third fingers! So here I am with the camera and he's screaming for me to cut the gill 'cause the fish keeps jumping and if he lets it go it'll yank the spiny thing in his hand. He has a fishing pliers in his bucket so I cut the gill which leaves almost two inches of it in his hand. He's bleeding a lot, cursing a lot, and then he grabs the pliers and pulls the spine out of his hand.
Now I'm wondering what kind of disease you can get from having fish stuff in your hand, but he's still cursing from the pain. He decides it's a good time to call it a day with the fishing since his hand is now useless and we head upstairs to wash the hand which is still bleeding. He finally lays down on the bed but keeps popping up as only Steve can do. He takes a Vicodin for the pain and two aspirin, and finally gets a bandage on the hand.
His hand is swelling up so we put ice in a plastic glove on it and I think he may have actually fallen asleep.
Oh, by the way, the catfish died from lack of oxygen during this fiasco, but there was no other way.
Kinda puts a damper on today's fishing experience for him. And me.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
On Possibly being Hypomanic
My bipolar disorder is called Bipolar Type II which means I have very few manic episodes, but rather get what is referred to as "hypomanic." I think this might be happening now and I've been suspecting it since yesterday. After 18 years of dealing with this, I've gotten really good at identifying symptoms -- sometimes I'm wrong, but I've been right most of the time.
It started yesterday while sitting at the computer. I found myself writing down witty notes as potential blog entries. List-making is my number one symptom. It's not full-blown yet, but those in the mental health industry call it "flight of ideas" -- when you can't stick with one thing because ideas keep flying into your head. It's definitely not a bad thing though because it makes you feel very creative and witty. Makes me understand all those people in the arts who were manic and highly creative.
In the past 18 years, I ran out of my medications twice, and both times I ended up in the hospital with a manic episode I couldn't stop. I start talking endlessly, everything is fascinating, and I can hardly sit still -- sort of like smoking great hash.
The catch, of course, is that if you let hypomanic progress too far without stopping it with some kind of medication, it just keeps going and next I start cleaning like a fool -- stuff I'd never bother with as my normal self. Steve likes when I get to that point 'cause I'm ultra-productive!
More later -- have too much flying through my head to sit still!!!
It started yesterday while sitting at the computer. I found myself writing down witty notes as potential blog entries. List-making is my number one symptom. It's not full-blown yet, but those in the mental health industry call it "flight of ideas" -- when you can't stick with one thing because ideas keep flying into your head. It's definitely not a bad thing though because it makes you feel very creative and witty. Makes me understand all those people in the arts who were manic and highly creative.
In the past 18 years, I ran out of my medications twice, and both times I ended up in the hospital with a manic episode I couldn't stop. I start talking endlessly, everything is fascinating, and I can hardly sit still -- sort of like smoking great hash.
The catch, of course, is that if you let hypomanic progress too far without stopping it with some kind of medication, it just keeps going and next I start cleaning like a fool -- stuff I'd never bother with as my normal self. Steve likes when I get to that point 'cause I'm ultra-productive!
More later -- have too much flying through my head to sit still!!!
A Helpful Alcoholic
Warren Buffett may reap 600M in Budweiser deal
Thursday, June 19th 2008, 9:23 AM
Billionaire Warren Buffett could drink in $600 million in profit if InBev succeeds in its $46.3 billion takeover of Budweiser-maker Anheuser-Busch.
Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway owned nearly 36 million shares of the brewer as of March 31. At the stock's March low of $45.68, the stake was worth about $100 million less than the $1.72 billion he paid. InBev's $65-a-share offering price would allow him to unload the investment for $2.31 billion.
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When I was an active alcoholic, Bud was a drink of choice. Unfortunately, it was more like a CASE of Bud. Good to know I supported Mr. Buffett's enterprises.
Thursday, June 19th 2008, 9:23 AM
Billionaire Warren Buffett could drink in $600 million in profit if InBev succeeds in its $46.3 billion takeover of Budweiser-maker Anheuser-Busch.
Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway owned nearly 36 million shares of the brewer as of March 31. At the stock's March low of $45.68, the stake was worth about $100 million less than the $1.72 billion he paid. InBev's $65-a-share offering price would allow him to unload the investment for $2.31 billion.
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When I was an active alcoholic, Bud was a drink of choice. Unfortunately, it was more like a CASE of Bud. Good to know I supported Mr. Buffett's enterprises.
Another Baby Boom?
FOXNEWS.COM
Massachusetts High School Faces Pregnancy Boom
Thursday, June 19, 2008
A Massachusetts high school is facing a pregnancy boom with 17 girls entering summer vacation expecting babies in what some have called a pregnancy pact.
Officials at Gloucester High School in Gloucester, Mass., are investigating whether half of the teens made a pact to get pregnant during the school year, Time.com reported.
Officials said that beginning last fall a large group of girls started asking the school clinic for pregnancy tests, the site said.
"Some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," principal Joseph Sullivan told Time.com.
The pregnancy rate at the 1,200-student school is four times higher than the previous year, and officials were shocked to learn that men in their 20s had fathered some of the babies, Time.com said.
"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," Sullivan told Time.com.
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Thanks, Jamie Lynn Spears for setting such a great example. Why?
Massachusetts High School Faces Pregnancy Boom
Thursday, June 19, 2008
A Massachusetts high school is facing a pregnancy boom with 17 girls entering summer vacation expecting babies in what some have called a pregnancy pact.
Officials at Gloucester High School in Gloucester, Mass., are investigating whether half of the teens made a pact to get pregnant during the school year, Time.com reported.
Officials said that beginning last fall a large group of girls started asking the school clinic for pregnancy tests, the site said.
"Some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," principal Joseph Sullivan told Time.com.
The pregnancy rate at the 1,200-student school is four times higher than the previous year, and officials were shocked to learn that men in their 20s had fathered some of the babies, Time.com said.
"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," Sullivan told Time.com.
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Thanks, Jamie Lynn Spears for setting such a great example. Why?
What's Your Story?
June 19, 2008 -- Daily OM
Everyone Has A Story
Interesting People Everywhere
It’s easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell if we take the time to listen. We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where they came from and how they got to be where they are. The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual. Sometimes the shy, quiet person at work has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams, it is up to us to take the time to find out.
Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely on, and both have great stories to tell. Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only they can claim and share. Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading them to a different point of view, so each person remains a treasure trove waiting to be explored. When we take the time to ask questions and listen, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it.
Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way. There is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger. When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to open someone up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story. All we have to do is ask.
Everyone Has A Story
Interesting People Everywhere
It’s easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell if we take the time to listen. We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where they came from and how they got to be where they are. The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual. Sometimes the shy, quiet person at work has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams, it is up to us to take the time to find out.
Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely on, and both have great stories to tell. Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only they can claim and share. Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading them to a different point of view, so each person remains a treasure trove waiting to be explored. When we take the time to ask questions and listen, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it.
Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way. There is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger. When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to open someone up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story. All we have to do is ask.
Your Daily Losers
Stuart Gardner dropped by the house and went around back to where Peter Diamond was tending his garden (following a break-in at his home that week). Gardner walked up to Diamond, held out Diamond’s house keys, and said, er, “I’m the person who broke in. Can I have my mobile phone back?” Daily Telegraph (London)
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Man in three-vehicle crash told police he was just driving around until he sobered up enough to go home. (Asbury Park Press)
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Benjamin Baker, 27, was arrested in Corio, Australia, for sexually harassing a woman by sending her video mail of himself wanking, including the last one he sent, which was received on the woman’s phone while she was in the police station making her complaint. Daily Telegraph (Sydney)
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Couple in throes of passion knock cellphone on floor, where it auto-dials the woman’s other boyfriend. He has a temper, and it didn’t take him long to get there. Daily Telegraph (London)
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Feds throw the book at the gloriously debauched technology billionaire Nick Nicholas
25-count indictments (4 for drugs, 21 for stock manipulation) against an extremely large-living guy who smoked so much dope on his private jet that the pilot had to wear his oxygen mask. Juiciest part: He had a 2,000-sq-ft labyrinth built underneath his mansion, unknown to his wife, so he could par-tay with all the floozies he could buy. Downfall: He is so arrogant that he mistreated his personal assistant (who spilled everything). AP via Yahoo and New York Post
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Fortunately for counterfeiter Calvin Robinson, the police caught him before he could lose any more money than he already had. Cops said Robinson needed “$90" to buy drugs and bought a color copier for $100 so he could make some fake $10's. Spokesman-Review (Spokane, Wash.)
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The menu at U.N. conference on world hunger this week in Rome
(e.g., lemon mousse with raspberry sauce, parmesan risotto, pasta with pumpkin, “pretty standard stuff,” said a UN spokesman )Washington Post
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Massachusetts Sen. J. James Marzilli Jr. was arrested for trying to grope a woman on a park bench in Lowell but then told cops he was state Rep. Martin Walsh of Dorchester. (A few minutes later, though, he came clean and started to cry.) Boston Globe
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Incompetent mooner flashed against restaurant window, broke it, sliced ass.
AP via Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
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The surveillance video of the Fifth Third Bank in Orlando seems to show that the robber is pointing the gun at himself. Said a detective, “[He] is holding it in a manner that [suggests] he’s probably not familiar with handguns and was afraid it was going to go off.”
WKMG-TV (Orlando)
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Man in three-vehicle crash told police he was just driving around until he sobered up enough to go home. (Asbury Park Press)
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Benjamin Baker, 27, was arrested in Corio, Australia, for sexually harassing a woman by sending her video mail of himself wanking, including the last one he sent, which was received on the woman’s phone while she was in the police station making her complaint. Daily Telegraph (Sydney)
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Couple in throes of passion knock cellphone on floor, where it auto-dials the woman’s other boyfriend. He has a temper, and it didn’t take him long to get there. Daily Telegraph (London)
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Feds throw the book at the gloriously debauched technology billionaire Nick Nicholas
25-count indictments (4 for drugs, 21 for stock manipulation) against an extremely large-living guy who smoked so much dope on his private jet that the pilot had to wear his oxygen mask. Juiciest part: He had a 2,000-sq-ft labyrinth built underneath his mansion, unknown to his wife, so he could par-tay with all the floozies he could buy. Downfall: He is so arrogant that he mistreated his personal assistant (who spilled everything). AP via Yahoo and New York Post
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Fortunately for counterfeiter Calvin Robinson, the police caught him before he could lose any more money than he already had. Cops said Robinson needed “$90" to buy drugs and bought a color copier for $100 so he could make some fake $10's. Spokesman-Review (Spokane, Wash.)
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The menu at U.N. conference on world hunger this week in Rome
(e.g., lemon mousse with raspberry sauce, parmesan risotto, pasta with pumpkin, “pretty standard stuff,” said a UN spokesman )Washington Post
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Massachusetts Sen. J. James Marzilli Jr. was arrested for trying to grope a woman on a park bench in Lowell but then told cops he was state Rep. Martin Walsh of Dorchester. (A few minutes later, though, he came clean and started to cry.) Boston Globe
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Incompetent mooner flashed against restaurant window, broke it, sliced ass.
AP via Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
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The surveillance video of the Fifth Third Bank in Orlando seems to show that the robber is pointing the gun at himself. Said a detective, “[He] is holding it in a manner that [suggests] he’s probably not familiar with handguns and was afraid it was going to go off.”
WKMG-TV (Orlando)
Lest We Forget...
WTC Victim's Remains Identified
June 18, 2008
Another victim of the 9/11 attacks was identified today as a result of retesting remains from the World Trade Center.
The medical examiner says the remains are of a 51-year-old man whose identity was not released as of Tuesday evening.
So far, 11 people have been identified through re-testing.
Of the victims reported missing, 59 percent have been traced to remains recovered from the site, bringing the total for recovered remains to 1,622.
A majority of the identified were found through DNA, dental records, and fingerprints.
June 18, 2008
Another victim of the 9/11 attacks was identified today as a result of retesting remains from the World Trade Center.
The medical examiner says the remains are of a 51-year-old man whose identity was not released as of Tuesday evening.
So far, 11 people have been identified through re-testing.
Of the victims reported missing, 59 percent have been traced to remains recovered from the site, bringing the total for recovered remains to 1,622.
A majority of the identified were found through DNA, dental records, and fingerprints.
Stuff you need to Know
Woman Sues Victoria's Secret, Claims Injury From Defective Thong
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria's Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.
The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria's Secret "low-rise v-string," according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.
Patterson's lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a "design problem" caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.
Patterson's product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.
The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria's Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson's lawyer.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria's Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.
The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria's Secret "low-rise v-string," according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.
Patterson's lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a "design problem" caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.
Patterson's product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.
The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria's Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson's lawyer.
Is it Necessary???
FOXNEWS.COM HOME
Nebraska Plans to Stop Funding Erectile Dysfunction Treatment, Says Sex Is Not Medically Necessary
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Poor Nebraskans seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction may soon be turned away by state government.
State officials are proposing state Medicaid rules be changed so that the insurance program does not pay for penile implants.
State Medicaid director Vivianne Chaumont said the change is consistent with a federal rule, approved in 2006, that barred the federal government from spending Medicaid dollars on erectile dysfunction drugs including Viagra. Nebraska followed suit a few months later and changed its rules to keep state Medicaid money from being spent on the drugs.
The federal government will still help pay for penile implants in states that choose to continue covering the procedure under their Medicaid plans.
"The decision was made not to cover the drugs, so it's ... a good idea to have particular procedures for prosthesis not covered as well," Chaumont said.
Medicaid is meant to pay for the medical necessities of needy people and "sex is not medically necessary," she said.
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Is chocolate medically necessary? Psychologically necessary?
Nebraska Plans to Stop Funding Erectile Dysfunction Treatment, Says Sex Is Not Medically Necessary
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Poor Nebraskans seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction may soon be turned away by state government.
State officials are proposing state Medicaid rules be changed so that the insurance program does not pay for penile implants.
State Medicaid director Vivianne Chaumont said the change is consistent with a federal rule, approved in 2006, that barred the federal government from spending Medicaid dollars on erectile dysfunction drugs including Viagra. Nebraska followed suit a few months later and changed its rules to keep state Medicaid money from being spent on the drugs.
The federal government will still help pay for penile implants in states that choose to continue covering the procedure under their Medicaid plans.
"The decision was made not to cover the drugs, so it's ... a good idea to have particular procedures for prosthesis not covered as well," Chaumont said.
Medicaid is meant to pay for the medical necessities of needy people and "sex is not medically necessary," she said.
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Is chocolate medically necessary? Psychologically necessary?
The $200 Whopper???
Courtesy Fox News
LONDON — It's known as the home of 'The Whopper' and Burger King is hoping its latest product really lives up to its reputation. The fast-food giant launched a $200 burger Wednesday — all in the name of charity.
Setting a new record, the world's most expensive burger is available at just one restaurant in West London, England, once a week — but it will eventually be available to order via a hotline.
The fine ingredients of what is called simply 'The Burger' include Wagyu beef, white truffles, Pata Negra ham slices, Cristal onion straws, Modena balsamic vinegar, lambs lettuce, pink Himalayan rock salt, organic white wine and shallot infused mayonnaise in an Iranian saffron and white truffle dusted bun.
Celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson told Sky News Online: "It sounds delicious. The ingredients are very good and high powered, but why are Burger King doing it?"
All the proceeds from The Burger sales will go to the Help A London Child charity, which assists young people experiencing abuse, homelessness, disability, poverty and illness.
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And to think I don't even like their cheapest burgers!!!
LONDON — It's known as the home of 'The Whopper' and Burger King is hoping its latest product really lives up to its reputation. The fast-food giant launched a $200 burger Wednesday — all in the name of charity.
Setting a new record, the world's most expensive burger is available at just one restaurant in West London, England, once a week — but it will eventually be available to order via a hotline.
The fine ingredients of what is called simply 'The Burger' include Wagyu beef, white truffles, Pata Negra ham slices, Cristal onion straws, Modena balsamic vinegar, lambs lettuce, pink Himalayan rock salt, organic white wine and shallot infused mayonnaise in an Iranian saffron and white truffle dusted bun.
Celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson told Sky News Online: "It sounds delicious. The ingredients are very good and high powered, but why are Burger King doing it?"
All the proceeds from The Burger sales will go to the Help A London Child charity, which assists young people experiencing abuse, homelessness, disability, poverty and illness.
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And to think I don't even like their cheapest burgers!!!
The Mystery of the Severed Feet
(CNN) -- Investigators are pursuing a variety of theories in their quest to unravel the mystery of six human feet that have washed up on the shores of British Columbia in the last 11 months.
The sixth foot turned up Wednesday -- a right foot in a man's size 10 black Adidas athletic shoe, police said. As in the previous cases, however, immediate answers as to the foot's origin eluded detectives.
"We are exploring the possibility that it could be people who may have drowned," said Annie Linteau, a spokeswoman for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. "It could be missing fishermen. It could be the remains of people who may have died in a plane crash."
When asked about the suspicion of foul play, Linteau noted that the first four feet contained no tool marks and were therefore deemed not to have been severed.
It's too early to say how the foot found Wednesday was separated from a body, and Linteau did not address the question of how the fifth foot came to be detached.
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Alright, readers -- which one of you has the foot fetish?
The sixth foot turned up Wednesday -- a right foot in a man's size 10 black Adidas athletic shoe, police said. As in the previous cases, however, immediate answers as to the foot's origin eluded detectives.
"We are exploring the possibility that it could be people who may have drowned," said Annie Linteau, a spokeswoman for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. "It could be missing fishermen. It could be the remains of people who may have died in a plane crash."
When asked about the suspicion of foul play, Linteau noted that the first four feet contained no tool marks and were therefore deemed not to have been severed.
It's too early to say how the foot found Wednesday was separated from a body, and Linteau did not address the question of how the fifth foot came to be detached.
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Alright, readers -- which one of you has the foot fetish?
It Just Follows Logic
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.
Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Answers
Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends . . Boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . Niagara Falls The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside . Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems)
6. Three English words beginning with dw . Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . . Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 's'. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering to share this with at least one unstable person.
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends . . Boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . Niagara Falls The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside . Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems)
6. Three English words beginning with dw . Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . . Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 's'. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering to share this with at least one unstable person.
On Being Single
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
Using your Brain Cells
A Quiz for People Who Know Everything . . .
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't.. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in Standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers later...
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't.. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in Standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers later...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
No Respect
One morning, a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow, that is one ugly baby."
The woman was deeply hurt. She continued to get on to the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asked her, "What's wrong? You look mad."
She replied, "I am. That bus driver just insulted me."
"You shouldn't take that from him," the man replied. "He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take his badge number and report him."
"You're right sir, I think I will report him."
The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number. I'll hold your monkey for you."
The woman was deeply hurt. She continued to get on to the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asked her, "What's wrong? You look mad."
She replied, "I am. That bus driver just insulted me."
"You shouldn't take that from him," the man replied. "He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take his badge number and report him."
"You're right sir, I think I will report him."
The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number. I'll hold your monkey for you."
Goat for Dinner?
The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
Goofy Animal Laws
- It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas' Main Street in
August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.
- Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, CT, horses
are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless
the animal has a "bright" red taillight securely attached to its'
rump.
- Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of
Tahoe City, California.
- In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of
Seattle must be wearing a cowbell.
- In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town's taverns, if an
admission fee is paid before they enter.
- You can't blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington,
because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.
- In Wanassa, New Jersey, a dog is breaking the law if it is heard
to be "crying."
August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.
- Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, CT, horses
are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless
the animal has a "bright" red taillight securely attached to its'
rump.
- Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of
Tahoe City, California.
- In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of
Seattle must be wearing a cowbell.
- In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town's taverns, if an
admission fee is paid before they enter.
- You can't blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington,
because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.
- In Wanassa, New Jersey, a dog is breaking the law if it is heard
to be "crying."
Monday, June 16, 2008
Flying High
The St. Petersburg Times had this article (capsulized by me) in our Sunday 06/14/08 edition:
How to keep the airlines flying high
Now that so many airlines are charging extra to check a suitcase, buy a ticket over the phone or even get an inflight drink of water, travelers are asking: When will it stop?
We have a different question: Why stop now?
These are tough times. It's everyone's patriotic duty to help bail out a great American industry. So why not turn those jumbo jets into big ol' flying cash registers?
Here are a few of our ideas.
Install slot machines in the back of the head rests and roulette wheels in the baggage claim area. Remember, the house always wins.
Rent out space in the overhead bins, and fine passengers who wallop others as they heave their bags aloft. It'll make the bag-checking fee look downright reasonable!
Reward the brave and tax the cowardly by renting seat cushions and breathing masks to nervous nellies who think they might need flotation devices and oxygen.
Increase revenue by towing advertising banners. Sure, you'd have to fly at 1,000 feet for the banners to be seen, but that'll just remind folks on the ground of the sacrifices we're all making.
Install coin-operated toilets, and vending machines for toilet paper, soap and paper towels. And blankets. And pillows.
Charge $10 to passengers who recline their seats. Charge another $10 to the person behind to force the seat back up again. Endless revenue stream!
Encourage passion and get 50 percent more per ticket by allowing two people to occupy the same seat; one pays full price and the other half-price.
Recruit gutsy passengers to fly the aircraft with instructions from the tower. Too many volunteers? Charge for the privilege.
Charge an extra $50 to sit in a special section where fellow passengers are not allowed to talk to you as you try to read your magazine. Violators are fined another $50 for each infraction.
Charge an extra $20 for flights in which no movies starring Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell or Ben Stiller will be shown.
How to keep the airlines flying high
Now that so many airlines are charging extra to check a suitcase, buy a ticket over the phone or even get an inflight drink of water, travelers are asking: When will it stop?
We have a different question: Why stop now?
These are tough times. It's everyone's patriotic duty to help bail out a great American industry. So why not turn those jumbo jets into big ol' flying cash registers?
Here are a few of our ideas.
Install slot machines in the back of the head rests and roulette wheels in the baggage claim area. Remember, the house always wins.
Rent out space in the overhead bins, and fine passengers who wallop others as they heave their bags aloft. It'll make the bag-checking fee look downright reasonable!
Reward the brave and tax the cowardly by renting seat cushions and breathing masks to nervous nellies who think they might need flotation devices and oxygen.
Increase revenue by towing advertising banners. Sure, you'd have to fly at 1,000 feet for the banners to be seen, but that'll just remind folks on the ground of the sacrifices we're all making.
Install coin-operated toilets, and vending machines for toilet paper, soap and paper towels. And blankets. And pillows.
Charge $10 to passengers who recline their seats. Charge another $10 to the person behind to force the seat back up again. Endless revenue stream!
Encourage passion and get 50 percent more per ticket by allowing two people to occupy the same seat; one pays full price and the other half-price.
Recruit gutsy passengers to fly the aircraft with instructions from the tower. Too many volunteers? Charge for the privilege.
Charge an extra $50 to sit in a special section where fellow passengers are not allowed to talk to you as you try to read your magazine. Violators are fined another $50 for each infraction.
Charge an extra $20 for flights in which no movies starring Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell or Ben Stiller will be shown.
The Shape I'm In
HELLO MY GOOD FRIEND,
I'm Fine - How are you?
There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
And arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
The reason I know my Youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.
The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.
Author not provided
I'm Fine - How are you?
There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
And arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
The reason I know my Youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.
The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.
Author not provided
Regarding Finances
Money is one of the most important subjects of your entire life. Some of life's greatest enjoyments and most of life's greatest disappointments stem from your decisions about money. Whether you experience great peace of mind or constant anxiety will depend on getting your finances under control.
Robert G. Allen (who has a lot of money)
Robert G. Allen (who has a lot of money)
Good Love
This stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women
seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
-- A kiss
seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
-- A kiss
Interesting Thoughts
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. --Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. -- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . As you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. --Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. -- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . As you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out
One of My Favorites
Today is the birthday of Lady and the Tramp? In 1955, Walt Disney's "Lady and the Tramp," the first animated feature
filmed in CinemaScope, opened in movie theaters. Take a lady
out to dinner tonight... but watch out for the spaghetti!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This is still one of my favorite animated films of all times, along with Bambi and Dumbo. Too sweet!
filmed in CinemaScope, opened in movie theaters. Take a lady
out to dinner tonight... but watch out for the spaghetti!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This is still one of my favorite animated films of all times, along with Bambi and Dumbo. Too sweet!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
On Saving the Airlines
HOW to SAVE the AIRLINES
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Could you do This???
Married couple has sex for 101 days straight - and writes book about it
By MICHAEL SHERIDAN
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Wednesday, June 11th 2008, 4:00 AM
For most people, getting married means saying sayonara to your sex life.
For Annie and Doug Brown, it meant getting busy. 101 days straight kind of busy.
The pair, who have been married for 11 years, did the deed every day for more than three months to write a book, "Just Do It," which hits the shelves on June 26.
"There's 10 jillion books about the Kama Sutra and there's a lot written by therapists, but there wasn't a book that was like a window into a relationship," Doug Brown told the folks at the "Today Show" on Tuesday.
A feature writer for The Denver Post, Brown's wife actually came up with the idea.
"Immediately after I thought of it I had second thoughts," Annie admitted. "My friends, when I told them about it, their mouths would drop open: 'Are you crazy?'"
She was inspired by a conference her husband attended where he heard about married couples who hadn't had sex for 100 days.
"This man gave a talk about being in the '100 Days Club,'" Annie explained to Ann Curry. It's "a club that you don't want to be in because it means you haven't had sex with your partner for over 100 days... So, I said to Doug after he told me about that story, 'Maybe we should reverse it.' "
Parents of two children - one 7-year-old and one 3-year-old - the working couple had a lot on their plate, and were often exhausted. But both were excited about their sexual undertaking.
Starting in January 2006, they had sex every day and every way. They did it at home and on the road, on top of a mountain and at a sex convention after watching porn.
By the end of the 101 days, they were exhausted, and took a break from sex for a month.
But while they were wiped out from their sexual escapades, the couple found an intimacy they thought was gone. They kept journals about the experience, and quickly began developing the book. And the effects on their relationship are still being... well, felt.
"We touch more," Doug said.
"What we really learned is that we have to take care of each other more and pay attention to each other in ways that we haven't since the early days of our marriage," Annie added.
By MICHAEL SHERIDAN
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Wednesday, June 11th 2008, 4:00 AM
For most people, getting married means saying sayonara to your sex life.
For Annie and Doug Brown, it meant getting busy. 101 days straight kind of busy.
The pair, who have been married for 11 years, did the deed every day for more than three months to write a book, "Just Do It," which hits the shelves on June 26.
"There's 10 jillion books about the Kama Sutra and there's a lot written by therapists, but there wasn't a book that was like a window into a relationship," Doug Brown told the folks at the "Today Show" on Tuesday.
A feature writer for The Denver Post, Brown's wife actually came up with the idea.
"Immediately after I thought of it I had second thoughts," Annie admitted. "My friends, when I told them about it, their mouths would drop open: 'Are you crazy?'"
She was inspired by a conference her husband attended where he heard about married couples who hadn't had sex for 100 days.
"This man gave a talk about being in the '100 Days Club,'" Annie explained to Ann Curry. It's "a club that you don't want to be in because it means you haven't had sex with your partner for over 100 days... So, I said to Doug after he told me about that story, 'Maybe we should reverse it.' "
Parents of two children - one 7-year-old and one 3-year-old - the working couple had a lot on their plate, and were often exhausted. But both were excited about their sexual undertaking.
Starting in January 2006, they had sex every day and every way. They did it at home and on the road, on top of a mountain and at a sex convention after watching porn.
By the end of the 101 days, they were exhausted, and took a break from sex for a month.
But while they were wiped out from their sexual escapades, the couple found an intimacy they thought was gone. They kept journals about the experience, and quickly began developing the book. And the effects on their relationship are still being... well, felt.
"We touch more," Doug said.
"What we really learned is that we have to take care of each other more and pay attention to each other in ways that we haven't since the early days of our marriage," Annie added.
Man Changes Name
Courtesy Fox News
ZION, Ill. — A school bus driver and amateur artist from the northern Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to "In God We Trust."
A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher's name change petition on Friday.
Under the arrangement, the 57-year-old's first name was changed to "In God" while his last name was changed to "We Trust."
He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can't wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker.
ZION, Ill. — A school bus driver and amateur artist from the northern Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to "In God We Trust."
A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher's name change petition on Friday.
Under the arrangement, the 57-year-old's first name was changed to "In God" while his last name was changed to "We Trust."
He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can't wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Laws that are too True
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers :
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone with whom you don't want to be seen.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctor' Law:
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers :
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone with whom you don't want to be seen.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctor' Law:
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Impromptu
JJ called Thursday evening just after I'd put potatoes in the oven to bake with dinner. He told us to drop everything and come over to his house. The restaurant where he was the Kitchen Manager had just closed without notice, and they'd given JJ boxes upon boxes of steaks, seafood (including lobster tails), desserts, booze upon booze, etc., and he wanted to share it with us!
I shut the oven off and we promptly left for his house. He was so excited when we got there -- apparently everyone who worked at "Catches" was let go except for him and the General Manager. Apparently the owners have a second restaurant in Tarpon Springs and they wanted to take JJ and the Manager with them and ONLY them. The new place is "Mike's Dockside" for those of you who know the Sponge Docks area off Alternate 19.
JJ also invited his parents, Lucille and Patrick, and three of his best friends. He prepared lobster tails, clams, mussels, steak, shrimp, oysters, all kinds of sauces, and lots of booze (don't worry -- I had only a glass of wine). We feasted like animals and I was delighted to finally see the man who spawned JJ -- his dad is really a neat guy. He has his doctorate in Analytical Chemistry and Biology and is an INK consultant. He is often a consultant to the US Mint regarding inks used on dollars; he's going to Egypt next month for that same reason. Who knew one could make a career out of ink?
Needless to say, we were eating for a solid two hours and he just kept bringing out plate after plate of seafood and steak. Then there was the dessert -- two different kinds of fat round cakes -- one with a peanut butter mousse in the middle, and the other topped with shards of dark chocolate and drizzed with caramel sauce. Unreal!
I shut the oven off and we promptly left for his house. He was so excited when we got there -- apparently everyone who worked at "Catches" was let go except for him and the General Manager. Apparently the owners have a second restaurant in Tarpon Springs and they wanted to take JJ and the Manager with them and ONLY them. The new place is "Mike's Dockside" for those of you who know the Sponge Docks area off Alternate 19.
JJ also invited his parents, Lucille and Patrick, and three of his best friends. He prepared lobster tails, clams, mussels, steak, shrimp, oysters, all kinds of sauces, and lots of booze (don't worry -- I had only a glass of wine). We feasted like animals and I was delighted to finally see the man who spawned JJ -- his dad is really a neat guy. He has his doctorate in Analytical Chemistry and Biology and is an INK consultant. He is often a consultant to the US Mint regarding inks used on dollars; he's going to Egypt next month for that same reason. Who knew one could make a career out of ink?
Needless to say, we were eating for a solid two hours and he just kept bringing out plate after plate of seafood and steak. Then there was the dessert -- two different kinds of fat round cakes -- one with a peanut butter mousse in the middle, and the other topped with shards of dark chocolate and drizzed with caramel sauce. Unreal!
Using our Heads for a Change
This is our local library and we finally used our heads and went there to rent some videos. They're free, you can check out three at a time, and you can keep them for a week! It's a really nice library that's won lots of awards. Last night we watched "There Will Be Blood" -- a very odd movie with a very terrific Daniel Day Lewis. When you watch this movie, you understand why he won an Oscar, although you'll probably be commenting on what an unusual movie he made. Steve hated the movie and I liked it because of its' strangeness.
I watched "Atonement" which I thought was fantastic although not Steve's cup of tea; we watched "The Illusionist" together and we both enjoyed it. Ed Norton was really great in the leading role.
Let's Call It A Day
God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"
God: "I think I'll call it a day."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"
God: "I think I'll call it a day."
Friday, June 13, 2008
Needing Merriment
June 13, 2008
Remember The Light Side
In Praise Of Fun
Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as if fun isn’t important. We tend to value hard work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally important, light side of silliness and laughter. This is ironic because we all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world.
Laughter is good medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into the world.
Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves so that we stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on work, or take some time for introspection until our next round of fun begins.
Courtesy Daily OM
Remember The Light Side
In Praise Of Fun
Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as if fun isn’t important. We tend to value hard work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally important, light side of silliness and laughter. This is ironic because we all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world.
Laughter is good medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into the world.
Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves so that we stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on work, or take some time for introspection until our next round of fun begins.
Courtesy Daily OM
Smart
My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!
And then i took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes - i guess he don't know
that three is more than two!
Just them, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And i took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
and the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And then i went and showed my dad,
and he go red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head-
Too proud of me to speak!
Shel Silverstein
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!
And then i took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes - i guess he don't know
that three is more than two!
Just them, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And i took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
and the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And then i went and showed my dad,
and he go red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head-
Too proud of me to speak!
Shel Silverstein
Got Dull Scissors?
If your scissors get dull, just layer about seven pieces of foil and cut through them a few times, and the scissors are sharp once again!
Another Who Knew?
Sprinkle old coffee grounds around places you don’t want ants, or
on the ant piles themselves. The little buggers will move on or
stay away. Used grounds are also said to repel snails and slugs.
Does that include my sister Slug?
Speaking of Slug, here she is with her new car!!!
on the ant piles themselves. The little buggers will move on or
stay away. Used grounds are also said to repel snails and slugs.
Does that include my sister Slug?
Speaking of Slug, here she is with her new car!!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Garlic does it Again!!!
Courtesy Fox News and The Sun
Can Garlic Cure MRSA?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Garlic has been a tried and trusted natural remedy for thousands of years.
And now researchers have found another use for the pungent bulbs – treating MRSA.
Patients who have suffered for years with weeping, infected wounds have been cleared after a course of garlic pills and creams, recent trials at the University of East London have shown.
So far more than 250 people have been successfully treated.
The study’s details will be published later this year in the journal Advances in Therapy.
Many of the volunteers had wounds that hadn't healed in several years – despite prolonged treatment with antibiotics.
Swabs confirmed they all carried the drug-resistant hospital superbug MRSA – but most were cured within eight to 12 weeks of treatment. Larger wounds took 18 weeks to heal.
“It does take a little longer, but it’s an effective treatment, especially for those people with chronic MRSA lesions,” said Dr. Ron Cutler, a microbiologist who headed the study.
“We have had patients on the trial who were due to have surgery to remove infected tissue, but after using the garlic preparation their wounds healed.”
Can Garlic Cure MRSA?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Garlic has been a tried and trusted natural remedy for thousands of years.
And now researchers have found another use for the pungent bulbs – treating MRSA.
Patients who have suffered for years with weeping, infected wounds have been cleared after a course of garlic pills and creams, recent trials at the University of East London have shown.
So far more than 250 people have been successfully treated.
The study’s details will be published later this year in the journal Advances in Therapy.
Many of the volunteers had wounds that hadn't healed in several years – despite prolonged treatment with antibiotics.
Swabs confirmed they all carried the drug-resistant hospital superbug MRSA – but most were cured within eight to 12 weeks of treatment. Larger wounds took 18 weeks to heal.
“It does take a little longer, but it’s an effective treatment, especially for those people with chronic MRSA lesions,” said Dr. Ron Cutler, a microbiologist who headed the study.
“We have had patients on the trial who were due to have surgery to remove infected tissue, but after using the garlic preparation their wounds healed.”
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Strange but True
During the shower scene in Psycho, what looks like blood funneling down the drain is actually Bosco chocolate syrup. Hitchcock thought it looked more real in black-and-white than the fake red stuff.
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Contrary to popular belief, most med school grads do not have to take the Hippocratic oath. But it’s probably best your doctor doesn’t believe in everything the oath entails, which includes swearing your skills on the god Apollo and promising never to share any of your medical knowledge with anyone (even patients).
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You foot is the same size as the distance between your wrist and elbow. You can put you foot in that area and it will fit. Your forearm and foot are the same size.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Restaurant chains like Applebee’s and TGIFriday’s have their staff sing a specialized song to wish customers a happy birthday in order to avoid paying royalties, since “Happy Birthday to You” is a copyrighted tune.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ice Cream was served to new arrivals at Ellis Island. But because most people hadn’t encountered it before, they simply figured it was butter and spread it on their toast.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Contrary to popular belief, most med school grads do not have to take the Hippocratic oath. But it’s probably best your doctor doesn’t believe in everything the oath entails, which includes swearing your skills on the god Apollo and promising never to share any of your medical knowledge with anyone (even patients).
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You foot is the same size as the distance between your wrist and elbow. You can put you foot in that area and it will fit. Your forearm and foot are the same size.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Restaurant chains like Applebee’s and TGIFriday’s have their staff sing a specialized song to wish customers a happy birthday in order to avoid paying royalties, since “Happy Birthday to You” is a copyrighted tune.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ice Cream was served to new arrivals at Ellis Island. But because most people hadn’t encountered it before, they simply figured it was butter and spread it on their toast.
Alien Hand Syndrome
Alien Hand Syndrome is a condition that conveniently defines itself: AHS sufferers believe that one of their hands acts completely on its own. A 1990 medical journal tells the story of one longtime smoker who repeatedly put a cigarette into her mouth with her good hand, whereupon her alien hand would remove the cigarette before it could be lit. The disorder is generally caused by brain damage resulting from strokes or physical trauma.
Courtesy Mental_Floss Magazine
Courtesy Mental_Floss Magazine
Laughing Out Loud
Man Who Fell Off Couch Laughing at TV Show Ends Up Pepper Sprayed, Arrested
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 Fox News
A British man who was so amused with BBC1’s "Have I Got News for You" that he fell off his couch in a fit of laughter was not so happy when it got him arrested and pepper sprayed.
Christopher Cocker, 36, collapsed on the floor after laughing at a joke on TV, but his neighbor who heard the thud thought something bad had happened and called the police, the Daily Mail reported on Wednesday.
According to police, Cocker initially was cooperative but quickly became "aggressive" when asked his name and personal information. Cocker tried to shut his door on the officers, at which point he was pepper sprayed through a crack in the door.
Cocker then was handcuffed, arrested and taken to court, the Daily Mail reported. An unidentified police spokesman told the Mail that, given Cocker’s aggression, they acted appropriately.
"Within the circumstances, we feel we used reasonable force," the officer told the Mail.
Cocker, of Blackburn, England, eventually pleaded guilty to resisting a police officer and was given a conditional discharge for six months following the May 20 incident, the Mail reported.
Cocker is shocked at the outcome of what he describes as minding his own business.
"I can't believe it — I was thrown in the back of a police van before being stripped naked and put in a cell," Cocker told the Mail. "I was handcuffed behind my back and my ankles bound with plastic ties before six of them carried me to the van."
Cocker told the Mail he never thought he would end up in court for laughing at his favorite comedian.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 Fox News
A British man who was so amused with BBC1’s "Have I Got News for You" that he fell off his couch in a fit of laughter was not so happy when it got him arrested and pepper sprayed.
Christopher Cocker, 36, collapsed on the floor after laughing at a joke on TV, but his neighbor who heard the thud thought something bad had happened and called the police, the Daily Mail reported on Wednesday.
According to police, Cocker initially was cooperative but quickly became "aggressive" when asked his name and personal information. Cocker tried to shut his door on the officers, at which point he was pepper sprayed through a crack in the door.
Cocker then was handcuffed, arrested and taken to court, the Daily Mail reported. An unidentified police spokesman told the Mail that, given Cocker’s aggression, they acted appropriately.
"Within the circumstances, we feel we used reasonable force," the officer told the Mail.
Cocker, of Blackburn, England, eventually pleaded guilty to resisting a police officer and was given a conditional discharge for six months following the May 20 incident, the Mail reported.
Cocker is shocked at the outcome of what he describes as minding his own business.
"I can't believe it — I was thrown in the back of a police van before being stripped naked and put in a cell," Cocker told the Mail. "I was handcuffed behind my back and my ankles bound with plastic ties before six of them carried me to the van."
Cocker told the Mail he never thought he would end up in court for laughing at his favorite comedian.
Slime
New species are often named for prominent scientists, generous
benefactors or even spouses -- but not always.
In 2005, entomologists named a new slime-mold beetle after
President Bush.
benefactors or even spouses -- but not always.
In 2005, entomologists named a new slime-mold beetle after
President Bush.
Being Perfectly Unbalanced
(Oprah.com) -- It's five o'clock in the morning. I've been awake for about 23 hours, having struggled vainly to fit in writing between yesterday's tasks: Getting the car fixed, taking the dog to the vet, answering e-mail, going grocery shopping, driving my kids to music lessons, seeing clients, picking up deli sandwiches for dinner and cuddling a 12-year-old through some of the horrors of puberty.
Expectations many women have been trying to fulfill are unfulfillable.
I finally sat down at my computer around midnight -- and looked up just now to see the sun rising.
Understand three things: 1) I don't have a job. I freelance, which means I procrastinate and get away with it; 2) my children are not young --they walk, talk, bathe, diagnose their own viruses; and 3) I'm kind of supposed to be an expert at combining career and family.
I conducted years of sociological research on the topic, wrote a big fat book about it. Plus, I'm a life coach. You'd think I could live a balanced life as a 21st-century American woman.
Ha. In fact, having done all that research, I can tell you with absolute assurance that it is impossible for women to achieve the kind of balance recommended by many well-meaning self-help counselors. I didn't say such balance is difficult to attain. I didn't say it's rare. I said it's "impossible."
Our culture's definition of what women should be is fundamentally, irreconcilably unbalanced. That's the bad news. The good news is that the very imbalance of our culture is forcing women to find equilibrium in an entirely new way.
The joy of being unbalanced
If someone condemned you because, say, you failed to prevent Hurricane Katrina, you wouldn't dissolve in shame or work to overcome your inadequacy. You'd probably conclude that your critic was nuts, then simply dismiss the whole issue.
That's the wonderful thing about seeing that our society makes impossible demands on all women. You free yourself to ignore social pressures and begin creating a life that comes from your own deepest desires, hopes and dreams. You'll stop living life from the outside in and begin living it from the inside out.
Women describe the moments when they really "got" that the expectations they'd been trying to fulfill were unfulfillable. They say this epiphany was terrible because it meant relinquishing the goal of total social acceptance. But it was also the beginning of freedom, of learning to seek guidance by turning inward to the heart, rather than outward to social prescriptions.
If you feel trapped by contradictory demands, you may want to join this gentle rebellion. You can help create a new cultural paradigm, one that replaces conformity with honesty, convention with creativity, and judgment with kindness. That, in the end, is the gift of the disequilibrium that society has bequeathed to all of us.
Being forced to seek balance within ourselves, we can make our unsteady, stumbling days feel less and less like disaster and more and more like a joyful dance -- the dance of a wildly, wonderfully, perfectly unbalanced life.
By Martha Beck from "O, The Oprah Magazine," April 2003
Expectations many women have been trying to fulfill are unfulfillable.
I finally sat down at my computer around midnight -- and looked up just now to see the sun rising.
Understand three things: 1) I don't have a job. I freelance, which means I procrastinate and get away with it; 2) my children are not young --they walk, talk, bathe, diagnose their own viruses; and 3) I'm kind of supposed to be an expert at combining career and family.
I conducted years of sociological research on the topic, wrote a big fat book about it. Plus, I'm a life coach. You'd think I could live a balanced life as a 21st-century American woman.
Ha. In fact, having done all that research, I can tell you with absolute assurance that it is impossible for women to achieve the kind of balance recommended by many well-meaning self-help counselors. I didn't say such balance is difficult to attain. I didn't say it's rare. I said it's "impossible."
Our culture's definition of what women should be is fundamentally, irreconcilably unbalanced. That's the bad news. The good news is that the very imbalance of our culture is forcing women to find equilibrium in an entirely new way.
The joy of being unbalanced
If someone condemned you because, say, you failed to prevent Hurricane Katrina, you wouldn't dissolve in shame or work to overcome your inadequacy. You'd probably conclude that your critic was nuts, then simply dismiss the whole issue.
That's the wonderful thing about seeing that our society makes impossible demands on all women. You free yourself to ignore social pressures and begin creating a life that comes from your own deepest desires, hopes and dreams. You'll stop living life from the outside in and begin living it from the inside out.
Women describe the moments when they really "got" that the expectations they'd been trying to fulfill were unfulfillable. They say this epiphany was terrible because it meant relinquishing the goal of total social acceptance. But it was also the beginning of freedom, of learning to seek guidance by turning inward to the heart, rather than outward to social prescriptions.
If you feel trapped by contradictory demands, you may want to join this gentle rebellion. You can help create a new cultural paradigm, one that replaces conformity with honesty, convention with creativity, and judgment with kindness. That, in the end, is the gift of the disequilibrium that society has bequeathed to all of us.
Being forced to seek balance within ourselves, we can make our unsteady, stumbling days feel less and less like disaster and more and more like a joyful dance -- the dance of a wildly, wonderfully, perfectly unbalanced life.
By Martha Beck from "O, The Oprah Magazine," April 2003
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