Newcomers

Steve's niece, who is his brother's only child, gave birth to a little girl, Sophia Lynn, about ten hours ago. We already got photos of her! There was a brief moment of panic during the birth because the baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, but it all worked out fine.

Steve mentioned that if Sophia lives to age 91 she'll see the year 2100! Awesome!

Can't Help Wondering...

I've been thinking about Mom a lot lately -- like most stoic Norwegians, she seems to be completely unable to admit that she's been depressed. It's almost as though it's a shameful thing or a weakness, rather than often a fact of life.

She's settled in her new living quarters now and that change alone seems to have perked her up. She says she's eating everything they put in front of her and the food is really good. She is especially delighted not to have to cook at all anymore and she was delighted to be able to get rid of her pots and pans.

She mentioned on the phone that she was headed back to her room after lunch one day when she saw a woman seated in the hallway. She approached her as someone vaguely familiar, and it turned out to be a woman who attended Kongsvinger Church as a girl and she and Mom were confirmed together! They hadn't seen each other in 75 years and yet Mom recognized her! Sometimes I can't even imagine recognizing MYSELF in the mirror at that age!

Another stoic thing Mom does (or doesn't do) is tell people to speak up. She has a pretty severe hearing loss and it's really frustrating for her to be in groups of people when she can't distinguish one voice from another. I noticed the same thing with Steve's mom when she was here -- I was the one asking sales people to speak up for her. Apparently pride doesn't diminish with age.

Is this Typical or What?

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her....

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Voices in my Dreams

If you haven't had the opportunity to watch Andrea Bocelli in Tuscany on PBS, you don't know what you're missing. This man has the kind of voice that makes you glad you're living in an era which allows you to hear his singing voice.

Slug and I have semi-jokingly selected the song we'd like to hear when we're at the end of our lives -- her song is Pavarotti singing "Nessun Dorma" and mine is Andrea Bocelli singing "Time to Say Goodbye" -- they're both unbelievably gorgeous music sung by two Italian vocal masters. What your song?

Caption Anyone?

I found this photo while sorting out images on the flash drive. Neither Steve nor I have any idea what he was doing when I took the picture. Perhaps you'd like to provide a caption...

Tidbit

Desi Arnaz's father was mayor of Santiago, Cuba, and his mother the daughter of one of the founders of Bacardi Rum. His family went into exile after the coup that brought Fulgencio Batista to power in 1934.

The family made its new home in Miami, Florida. Desi's best friend in high school -- Al Capone, Jr.

Living in my own Country

GrandForksHerald.com's News of the Odd
EASTON, Pa.

A man accused of driving drunk said Pennsylvania courts have no jurisdiction over him because he's his own country. After seeing the paperwork that 44-year-old Scott Allan Witmer filed with the court claiming sovereignty, a Northampton County judge said Tuesday he cannot be released from jail until he gets a mental exam.

Witmer, who represented himself, said he believes police lack jurisdiction to pull him over. As he said in court: "I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania." He said there is no victim in the crime and asked to go to trial.

Defense attorney James Connell, Witmer's standby counsel, said a challenge to the traffic stop would need to be filed as a pretrial motion.

A Rose is a Rose

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard! " He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood."

She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, "To the kitchen."

She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replies, "Sure."

She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He says, "No, I can remember that."

She then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."

He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
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Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the new restaurant you went to last night?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied.

"That's great! What was the name of the place?"

Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife . . ."Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we ate at last night?"
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Source: Aha! Jokes, www.AhaJokes.com

On Pirates

A Pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.'

'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.'

Bartender: 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'

Pirate: 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'

Bartender: 'Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'

Pirate: 'We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.'

Bartender: 'What about that eye patch?'

Pirate: 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.'

'You're kidding,' said the bartender, 'you lost an eye just from bird shit?'

Pirate: 'It was my first day with the hook.'

Strange but True

By Diane Mapes

While a 92-year-old woman delivering a 60-year-old baby sounds like a bizarre plot twist from “Benjamin Button,” it’s true. Huang Yijun, 92, of southern China, recently delivered a child which she’d been carrying for well over half a century.

The baby wasn’t actually alive, however. The woman was carrying a lithopedion—or stone baby — a rare phenomenon where a pregnancy fails, the fetus calcifies while still in the mother’s body.

According to Dr. Natalie Burger, endocrinologist and fertility specialist at Texas Fertility Center, lithopedions start off as ectopic pregnancies—a condition where the fertilized egg gets stuck on its way to the womb, implants and develops outside the uterus.

“Usually an ectopic pregnancy will mean a [fallopian] tubal pregnancy, but in a small percentage of cases, the pregnancy can actually occur in the abdominal cavity — in places like the bowel, the ovary, or even on the aorta,” she says. “These are very rare locations and they can be very dangerous.”

Not the Mushy Type

Her maiden name was Emma Doering and her parents, or at least one of them, came from Leichtenstein. Her family came to America where she met and married Herman Henry Tack and they eventually became the parents of three sons and two daughters, their firstborn being our father, Harry.

She was a difficult woman and once when I asked Dad about her, he said, "I hated that woman." I was startled and then he said, "I really hated that woman." I'd never heard anyone say that about their own mother before but it was obviously the truth.

Emma was fastidious about housekeeping to the point of being obsessive. She was controlling and I don't recall ever seeing her laugh or even smile. She never said one positive thing to us, but had no problem with giving orders. If you've ever read any of the V.C. Andrews books, she was like the grandmother in the story.

Her husband, Herman, on the other hand, was quite likeable and seemed to take it all in stride, or maybe he just didn't have much choice with all those mouths to feed.

When Slug and I went to the Tack grandparents' farm to visit, we would almost automatically say hello and then disappear to the barn to discover what new kittens had been born, or to tease the bull, or talk to the cows.

I've often wondered what Emma would've been like if she'd lived in today's world.

My Schizo Game needs a New Challenger!

Our guest left early Friday morning and called less than two hours later when she landed in New York. We all had a great time together.

The day after she got to Florida she showed me a photo of her beloved black pug, Frankie. Her late husband, John, bought Frankie as a puppie for her and he's now over 14 years old. Annie put Frankie in what she calls "boarding school" while she was away and called the "school" every day to see how he was doing. Last year he had some kind of bladder problem that required extensive surgery to the tune of $7,000 which she paid without a second thought.

I scanned the photo of Frankie into my PC and ordered a tote bag from Kodak with the photo on it. When the bag arrived four days later she looked like she was ready to burst into tears over it!




It seemed like we were always eating and it was fit for a king! She loves to cook and so does Steve, so I spent a great deal of time being the official taste tester -- it wasn't easy, but hey -- someone's gotta do it!

We played a total of 25 games of SkipBo -- I dominated with 14 games and she won the other 11. She's so funny to play this game with -- every time she dealt the two piles of 15 cards she'd lose count and have to start over again; when she'd play a SkipBo she'd almost immediately forget what number it was meant to represent and would have to pick up the card again. We giggled like schoolgirls.



And all Beanie did the whole time Annie stayed was to guard her precious red catnip bag from a hostile alien takeover!

On Longevity and Mom

Our Mom, at 87 years of age, fell twice in her independent living apartment last week after a couple of weeks of eating poorly, living with a new diagnosis of shingles and another medication added to her regimen, and then some kind of stomach virus was added to the picture. Her remaining three adult kids and even her grandkids had recently suspected that depression, quite justifiably, was involved as well.

Mom's a true survivor -- she came through a mastectomy for breast cancer and the subsequent treatments in the 60's and open heart surgery in the 90's. She also endured the death of her oldest daughter and infant grandson, and serves as a sort of surrogate parent to one granddaughter who is developmentally disabled. She and our father had been married for over 60 years when he passed away a few years ago as well, and living with Dad for that long was often accompanied by stress.

Mom's not without her faults, but I believe that, like most parents, she did her best with what she had and used whatever resources she had to cope in being a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and caregiver. She'd be the first to say that faith had everything to do with it.

So now the only sibling we have living in our hometown, my brother, Mike, had to take the reins once again and assume the responsibility for getting her hospitalized and into a safer environment that can better meet the needs of aging.

A few weeks ago when I was on the phone with Mom, I asked her if she ever just gets tired of all the struggling and she said she'd just had a conversation about that with some of the other tenants in her building and they all confirmed that sometimes it's just too exhausting being old and question whether the fight is worth it.

So now she's in the local hospital awaiting an evaluation for transfer to either a rehab for a short stint, or admission to an assisted living facility which would be much safer for her and less stressful. Needless to say, we're all relieved that she'll be going to a more comprehensive level of care, and she's mostly delighted that she won't have to cook for herself anymore.

I'm personally hoping that this change in her situation will also help her depression -- being a chronic depressive myself, I know that often just a change in environment and people can really make a difference. Of course, Mom would never admit to being depressed at all -- she's one of those people who doesn't feel she has the "right" to be depressed and thus won't admit to it.

I can just picture Mom in the hospital needing something from the staff but not wanting to "put anyone out" with her trivial needs -- "...but they're so busy." She rarely asks her doctor valid questions probably figuring he's too "busy" or her questions are just too "trivial." How many times we've wanted to pull our hair out when this happens, but I suspect there are so many other elderly people who are exactly the same way, still living in a world where doctors know it all, never make mistakes, and spent all those years in school so they must know everything that's good for their patients.

Keep her in your thoughts.

Death by Pancake?

Man Dies After Gorging on 43 Cream, Banana-Filled Pancakes
Friday, March 06, 2009

The winner of an eating contest dropped dead after gorging himself on 43 cream-and-banana-stuffed pancakes.

Boris Isayev, 48, from west Russia, collapsed to his knees and died on stage after stuffing himself with pancakes in a competition to mark the end of the region’s ‘Pancake Week.'

"He had really enjoyed the pancakes but then he started foaming at the mouth and went down like a sack of stones," one witness said.

"We have seen people fainting during such contests before," she added.

The exact cause of death is not clear but doctors believe he choked after a piece of pancake got lodged in his throat.
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Idiot.

'Tis the Season???

Not long after Steve and I moved to New Port Richey we were driving around getting to know the surrounding area. In the neighboring community of Holiday we found this wonderful Christmas store (and some other holidays too)and it's a great place to take visitors for fun. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but once you go inside it's a wonderful array of every color imaginable hanging from the walls, ceilings, etc.


Annie headed straight for the card rack and I saw this wonderful handmade fairy doll with a great face.

Betty Boop is quite present in this place too, as are all the favorites from cartoons, sports, pets, villages galore,etc.


I'd call this one Christmas at the Whorehouse!





I'm not exactly clear on why Shakespeare was in the store, but we hit it off!

So be prepared if you ever visit, we'll be hauling you to this store which isn't big but is fully loaded!

Serving a Purpose

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there…to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere; safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

Author Unknown

Doin' the Flea Market

Sunday we had planned to go to the Renaissance Festival in Tampa but the weather dictated indoor activities instead so we did the flea market in Bayonet Point. Annie's a fool for jewelry and I think she looked at every piece of it sold there. She talks to everyone, flirts with everyone, gets to know everyone a little bit and it drives Steve nuts and I think it's great!

Her most exciting purchase was a Coach purse that she got down to $45.00! She loves to barter and does it quite well too.



Here she is posing with her new bag "snob" look.


We came home with tons of incense sticks, homemade raviolis, Italian pastries, a Mickey Mouse watch (required attire in Florida pictured on Annie's wrist below), etc.

The Woman's Annual Exam

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics.
How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 4,' I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2'.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall
and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac. What a Witch.

Golfing in the Gulf

The Congo River Miniature Golf course has oodles of baby alligators right at the entrance -- Annie could hardly stand to look at them. Friday was miniature golf day -- Annie had never played before, but she really got into it. She got two hole-in-ones, I got one, and Steve got none!
I won, Annie came in second, and Steve was the looza!!!













After our game, we offered to treat Annie to dinner at Chili's where I still had $53 left on my gift card. The bill for the three of us came to $59 so her dinner only cost us $6! Nothing like big spenders!

Two Ladies Shopping

Friday was local shopping day and Annie fell in love with Beall's and their great prices. It's the kind of store where you can spend money on stuff just because it's cheap and cool even if you have absolutely no need for it -- my kinda store.




After Beall's we went to Sally Beauty Supply, another place to buy cool makeup you probably already have. But if it comes in a neater container you gotta have it, right?