Courtesy MSNBC Blog The Body Odd

Just because I'm a hypochondriac doesn't mean I'm not sick
Wed, Jun 11, 2008 at 8:03AM
Filed Under: Dr. Billy Goldberg, Mark Leyner

"For each ailment that doctors cure with medications (as I am told they do occasionally succeed in doing) they produce 10 others in healthy individuals by inoculating them with that pathogenic agent 1000 times more virulent than all the microbes - -the idea that they are ill."
 -- Marcel Proust, “The Guermantes Way”

This quote came to mind after a particularly grueling weekend in the ER. You see, I am just getting over a brief yet vicious bout of nosophobia. Nosophobia refers to a morbid fear of contracting a disease. In my case, I was terrified of about 37 different ailments that might strike me or one of my family members down.

It didn’t help that when I got home from the hospital I had to spend an hour convincing my sister that she didn’t have thyroid disease, liver failure or metastatic cervical cancer. My sister and I both share a genetic predisposition towards worrying that isn’t exactly helped by my practice of medicine.

Surprisingly, most doctors aren’t hypochondriacs. But medical students often go through a phase of thinking they have everything they learn about in school. I can recall sitting in a genetics lecture with a pregnant friend and watching her cringe and rub her belly as we learned about every horrendous ailment that might affect her unborn child. This condition has been called "medical student's disease," "hypochondriasis of medical students" – and best of all, "medical studentitis."

Visitors and other Turkeys

JJ and Maria stopped by for an impromptu dinner on Tuesday night -- JJ works seven nights a week, and then gets two days off. He's DJing in a club again and making great money all off the books.



Maria is back to work full-time at a private school with a few scary kids. She said that she works all day with bratty kids and then puts up with JJ in the evenings! Yes, she's taking a prescription medication for anxiety. I told her it gets easier with time...it seemed like an honest thing to say at the time, but now I'm not so sure. I told her the key to any relationship is being able to ignore the things in the other person that drive you nuts -- like when Steve cleans and cleans and cleans when there's nothing to be cleaned! I try to dwell on the idea that I don't have to clean since he's compulsive! Works for me!

I really hope they stick together, but I just don't see it. She's so sweet and probably the most REAL woman he's dated in years. He gets burned out on her "Greekness" rather than embracing it -- her family speaks Greek all the time and observes all Greek celebrations. Conservative Greek fathers expect their daughters to marry a Greek too. Should be interesting...

We just got back from BigLots where we got a 7.5' tree with multicolored lights and we also bought oodles of cool ornaments. I love BigLots 'cause you never know what they'll be selling from visit to visit and their prices are terrific.

Our Thanksgiving was very peaceful and quiet, just the way I like it. Wayne and Sharon invited us over last night but we decided to stay home and watch "The Most Christmasey Places" and I watched two hours of episodes of "The Closer" which I'd missed before.

For that Hard-To-Buy-For Person

Purveyor of molecular gifts and jewelery Made With Molecules has just launched a new line for Christmas: Serotonin Christmas decorations for your tree.

They've also added to their existing range with jewelery made from the caffeine molecule, and the theobromine molecule - one of the psychoactive ingredients in chocolate.

So if you want to decorate either yourself or your house with drugs and neurotransmitters, you know where to go.

The Search Goes On

The Search Continues: Places Where
O.J. Simpson Has Not Found the Killer.
BY DAN KENNEDY

- - - -

Subway sandwich franchise near the Kendall neighborhood of Florida, 15 miles southwest of Miami.

Undisclosed recording studio where he completed the audio version of his 1995 book entitled I Want to Tell You.

Killian Greens, 18-hole public golf course, 980 S.W. 104th St., Miami, Florida.

Malibu Al's California Brew Pub, terminal 5, Los Angeles International Airport.

Oxford University debating-society hall.

On the set of his straight-to-DVD hidden-camera prank-oriented reality TV show called Juiced! in Burbank, California.

New Year's Eve hip-hop concert in East Hartford, Connecticut.

Alternatives

Alternate Titles to Barack Obama's Book The Audacity of Hope If It Had Been Written by President Bush.
BY DAVID PERKINS

- - - -

The Impertinence of Facts

The Insolence of Public Sentiment

The Nerve of Congressional Oversight

The Hubris of Habeas Corpus

The Effrontery of Climate Change

The Nucular Hope

A Hillbilly Thanksgiving Menu
BY MARK FISHER

- - - -

Wild turkey

Wild Turkey

Oh Christmas Tree, No Christmas Tree

I've had a very nasty cold this week and haven't felt like doing much of anything more than lying around sneezing a lot. Finally today I felt a little more human, so Steve and I went up to WalMart to get a new fake Christmas tree. We debated over which one to get and finally found the one we wanted, except that it didn't have multicolored lights. Those were out of stock.

Then we went to Big Lots and the same tree was out of stock. Guess it just wasn't meant to be!

Steve has finished his Wolfman Cane after getting chrome paint today. He's very proud of it and I'm delighted that it's finally done!

More Friends & Neighbors

Our landlord, Ron, joined us for dinner on Monday night; Steve made spaghetti, meatballs and sausage, with a side of garlic toast. It was delicious! Ron brought over a bottle of Guavaberry which he'd gotten in the West Indies last year. I thought it tasted like the cherry cough medicine we got when we were kids, but I didn't tell HIM that. He's a very special guy and we enjoy his company a lot, and Steve likes working with him too. Ron said this is the first time any of the tenants invited him for dinner -- made me feel extra-glad that we'd invited him.



Our neighbor, Wayne, stopped by over the weekend to invite us over for cake and ice cream for his almost-stepson's tenth birthday. We stopped by briefly and Steve gave the birthday boy, Hunter, a remote-controlled robot his brother had sent him about a year ago. It's amazing what this robot can do, and Hunter was thrilled!

CNN Heroes of 2008

In alphabetical order, the Top 10 CNN Heroes of 2008 are:

Tad Agoglia, Houston, Texas --
Agoglia's First Response Team provides immediate help to areas hit by natural disasters. In a little over a year, he and his crew have aided thousands of victims at more than 15 sites across the United States, free of charge.

Yohannes Gebregeorgis, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia --
Moved by the lack of children's books and low literacy rates in his native Ethiopia, Gebregeorgis established Ethiopia Reads, bringing free public libraries and literacy programs to thousands of Ethiopian children.

Carolyn LeCroy, Norfolk, Virginia --
After serving time in prison, LeCroy started The Messages Project to help children stay connected with their incarcerated parents. She and volunteer camera crews have taped roughly 3,000 messages from inmates to their children.

Anne Mahlum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania --
On her daily morning jogs, Mahlum used to run past homeless men. Today, she's helping to transform lives by running with them, and others as part of her "Back On My Feet" program.

Liz McCartney, St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana --
McCartney moved to New Orleans to dedicate herself to helping Hurricane Katrina survivors move back into their homes. Her nonprofit St. Bernard Project has rebuilt the homes of more than 120 families for free.

Phymean Noun, Toronto, Ontario --
Growing up in Cambodia, Noun struggled to complete high school. Today, she offers hundreds of Cambodian children who work in Phnom Penh's trash dump a way out -- through free schooling and job training.

David Puckett, Savannah, Georgia --
Puckett started Positive Image Prosthetics and Orthotics Missions -- PIPO -- to provide artificial limbs and braces and care to people in southeastern Mexico. Since November 2000 his mission has helped more than 420 people, free of charge.

Maria Ruiz, El Paso, Texas --
Several times a week, Ruiz crosses the border into Juarez, Mexico, to bring food, clothing and toys to hundreds of impoverished children and their families.

Marie Da Silva, Los Angeles, California --
Having lost 14 family members to AIDS, the Los Angeles nanny funds a school in her native Malawi -- where half a million children have been orphaned by the disease.

Viola Vaughn, Kaolack, Senegal --
The Detroit, Michigan, native moved to Senegal to retire. Instead, a group of failing schoolchildren asked her to help them pass their classes. Today, her "10,000 Girls" program is helping hundreds of girls succeed in school and run their own businesses.

"It is very rewarding to be able to honor these amazing, often unheralded individuals who are making a tremendous difference in their communities and beyond," Jim Walton, president of CNN Worldwide, said. "These stories of selfless achievement deserve to be told, and our multiple platforms around the world allow us to do that

Wild Boar & The Wolfman

Fully cooked wild boar ham looks like a pork roast. Unfortunately it doesn't TASTE like a pork roast, but is a bit too gamey for me, although Steve really liked it. The taste of it actually grossed me out!

Steve's lastest project resulted from a kit he got on Ebay for a replica of the prop used by The Wolfman in the 1941 black and white movie starring Lon Chaney, Jr. and Bela Lugosi. It's one of his all-time favorite movies. I've watched it and I just don't get the thrill of it, but that's nothing new with us.



We'll be heading for KMart tomorrow to get some chrome spray paint and once he gets it painted, it will be finished.

Chocolate Money?

Chocolate isn't just a candy. Before maids started leaving wrapped mints on hotel pillows at night, chocolate had some varied and esoteric uses.

The beans, which emerged from the forests of Central America, were used as a monetary unit in paying taxes to the Aztecs in 1000 A.D. Cocoa had been grown and harvested for centuries, with evidence of its' existence in the region going back another 5,000 years.
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In MY case, I'd risk not paying the taxes to eat it instead!

My TWO Old Men and the Sea

Our landlord, Ron, is from Minnesota (so you KNOW he's a good guy) and Steve's done a lot of work for him in the past couple of years. Ron's wife is visiting family in Minnesota, so he called to see if we'd like to take a boat ride with him. He has a 20 foot boat and just got a new engine for it and wanted to "punch up" the engine in open waters to see how well it might work. He picked us up on our dock and my first photo was of our apartment building from the perspective of the river. We live in the upstairs unit second from the right if anyone cares.


We headed out to the ocean and saw lots of huge houses on the water, as well as a few restaurants, bait shops and parks we never even knew about!


I'd forgotten to charge the camera battery, but we managed to get a few pictures before it died. Here's a couple of the houses we passed on our way out to sea.









We also passed the tiny Pasco County Historical Society building which is not far from us, but is only open two hours a week for tours. It's located in Sims Park which is where Sarah Palin (without her rifle) and Joe Biden both appeared (not together) over a week ago.



When we got into open waters Ron let 'er rip, and boy did it rip! There are some very wealthy people who have houses built on pilings way out in the water literally away from everything and accessible only by boat. Ron plays poker once a month at one of them and they have no plumbing, but have generators for light. He said most of the owners only use them occasionally on the weekends.

We really had a great time and everyone on the shore waves, as do other boaters. Tomorrow's he bringing us some wild boar ham to try. Apparently there are a lot of wild boars around here, and Steve's eagerly awaiting his sample, carnivore that he is.

Remembering Sarah Palin

Excerpted from a Greta Van Sustern interview with Palin in Time Magazine:

Palin has become a regular camera hound. Last night, Fox News aired an extensive interview with Greta Van Susteren, in which Palin discussed her possible Presidential plans for 2012:

This is what I always do. I'm like, "God, if there is an open door for me somewhere"--this is what I always pray--"don't let me miss the open door. Show me the open door and even if it's just cracked a little bit, maybe I'll plow right no through that, maybe prematurely plow through it, but don't let me miss an open door." And if there is an open door in '12, or four years later, and if it's something that's going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I'll plow through that door.

Genius, pure genius.

Children and the Sea

Children write about the sea:

1) This is a picture of an octopus.. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.. ( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the Ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And How on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is
always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

Larry King interviews Bill Maher

King: You recently issued one of your new rules decreeing that Obama must give comedians something to work with. Any suggestions?

Maher: No. It's very difficult. We have been spoiled, first with Bill Clinton and then George Bush. And here's a president now who-- he's not stupid. He's not angry. He's not a phony. He's not fat. He's not cheating on his wife.

Who needs a jerk like that around for the next four years? Come on.
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All I can say is: WE WINNED, WE WINNED, WE WINNED!!! Sarah, go back to Alaska -- your rifle misses you. John, you ran a sad campaign and already your campaign staffers are relieved. I just hope Obama is the type of person who'll question why things are done a certain way all the time in government -- the oldsters would answer: "Because they've ALWAYS been done that way" and he'll have the guts to confront and change old ways. He's definitely got his work cut out for him, but I think his win has given even the little guy a sense of hope for the first time in several years. YEAH!

Party Animals

The now-famous Democratic donkey was first associated with Democrat Andrew Jackson's 1828 presidential campaign. His opponents called him a jackass (a donkey), and Jackson decided to use the image of the strong-willed animal on his campaign posters. Later, cartoonist Thomas Nast used the Democratic donkey in newspaper cartoons and made the symbol famous.

Nast invented another famous symbol--the Republican elephant. In a cartoon that appeared in Harper's Weekly in 1874, Nast drew a donkey clothed in lion's skin, scaring away all the animals at the zoo. One of those animals, the elephant, was labeled "The Republican Vote." That's all it took for the elephant to become associated with the Republican Party.

Democrats today say the donkey is smart and brave, while Republicans say the elephant is strong and dignified.

As for me, I've always been attracted to total asses.

Are you a Romantic?

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING

Halloween and Fishing

Hyler and her dad, Brent, stopped by yesterday before going trick or treating. I'm wondering if anyone actually gives a "trick" rather than a "treat"...
I'm not exactly sure what character Hyler intended to be, but she insisted on doing her own makeup which is apparently very important if you're a nine-year-old girl.

I'd read a fairly large ad in the newspaper for a Fall Festival to be held outside a Baptist church in town touting a food court, arts and crafts, goodies for kids, etc., so we headed for that last night. When we got there we found about 50 kids, no food court, no arts and crafts, and very few adults so we just kept driving and ended up at Dairy Queen! You are no doubt familiar with the magnetic forces that pull your car into a DQ parking lot when you're anywhere in the vicinity. We saw more kids in costumes there than we did at the alleged festival! We ate well and came home to watch some old Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney movies into the wee hours. It was fun and today Brent and Hyler brought us a whole bunch of goodies she got last night so who's to complain!

Fishing has been really successful for Steve with the cooler weather -- I'm holding a black drumfish he caught, and the other one is an amberjack. We've got lots of fish filets in the freezer for dinner one of these nights.
Wayne joined him on the dock and you can see they have very physical conversations!