A man who came away empty-handed had tried to rob a Walgreens in Port Richey, Fla., in July, handing a clerk what appeared to be a holdup note, except that nothing was written on it. The clerk, sensing the forgetful robber's cluelessness, boldly dialed 911 right in front of him, causing the man to flee.
[St. Petersburg Times, 7-11-08]
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Most Bizarre Restaurants
Published on Today 7/29/2008
Cannibalistic Restaurant (JAPAN)"Nyotaimori" (which literally means "female body plate") is the name of the japanese restaurant that serves sushi and sashimi on a naked woman's body. The body is made from food and placed on an operating table, much as though in a hospital. You can "operate" anyway and anywhere you want by cutting open the body and eating what you find inside. The body will actually bleed as you cut it and the intestines and organs inside are completely edible. It's a banquet of Cannibalism.
Toilet Restaurant (TAIWAN)Have you ever heard of people eating out of a bathroom toilet and having great fun? A restaurant named Marton Theme Restaurant, in Kaohsiung (Taiwan) has a toilet theme and is a great hit among people. The restaurant has a bathroom decor, with colorful toilet seat being the standard chairs at the restaurant. It also serves food in plates and bowls shaped like western loo seats and Japanese “squat” toilets. Customers sits by a tables converted from a bathtub with a glass cover while looking at a wall decorated with neon-lit faucets and urinals turned into lamps. The restaurant is named after the Chinese word "Matong" for toilet and is doing really well. The owner Eric Wang says "We not only sell food but also laughter. The food is just as good as any restaurant but we offer additional fun. Most customers think the more disgusting and exaggerated (the restaurant is), the funnier the dining experience is." The meals are cheaply priced with a meal set including soup and ice cream costs from 150 to 250 Taiwan dollars ($6 - $10).
Restaurant in the Sky (BELGIUM)"Dinner in the Sky" is a Brussels based restaurant that serves dinner for up to 22 people… 150 feet in the air! The specially-designed table and chairs are lifted by a crane. Dinner anywhere in Belgium will set you back almost 8 thousand euros; other locations are also available. Remember, you must wear your seat belt, and don't drop your fork!
Dark Restaurant (CHINA)
The first dark restaurant in Asia is officially opened on the 23 December 2006. This restaurant, located in Beijing, China, has its interior painted completely black. Customers are greeted by a brightly lit entrance hall and will be escorted by waiters wearing night vision goggles into the pitch dark dining room to help them find their seats. Flashlights, mobile phones and even luminous watches are prohibited while in this area.
The meal will be taken in this environment with the complete loss of vision. By starving one's sense, your other senses are stimulated to full alert "all so the theory goes" and your food will taste like it's never tasted before. In case you are wondering about the washrooms, they are all brightly lit.
Graveyard Restaurant (INDIA)The bustling "New Lucky Restaurant" in Ahmadabad is famous for its milky tea, its buttery rolls, and the graves between the tables. Krishan Kutti Nair has helped run the restaurant built over a centuries-old Muslim cemetery for close to four decades, but he doesn't know who is buried in the cafe floor. Customers seem to like the graves, which resemble small cement coffins, and that's enough for him.
"The graveyard is good luck," Nair said one recent afternoon after the lunch rush. "Our business is better because of the graveyard." The graves are painted green, stand about shin high, and every day the manager decorates each of them with a single dried flower. They're scattered randomly across the restaurant - one up front next to the cash register, three in the middle next to a table for two, four along the wall near the kitchen.
Restaurant in a Prison (ITALY)A restaurant situated inside the top security prison Fortezza Medicea in Italy is so popular that officials have since opened more branches. Serenaded by Bruno, a pianist doing life for murder, the clientele eat inside a deconsecrated chapel set behind the 60ft high walls, watch towers, searchlights and security cameras of the daunting 500-year-old Fortezza Medicea, at Volterra near Pisa. Under the watchful eye of armed prison warders, a 20-strong team of chefs, kitchen hands and waiters prepares 120 covers for diners who have all undergone strict security checks. Tables are booked up weeks in advance.
Robot Restaurant: run by two identical couples (CHINA)People are confused how a Chinese couple managed to run a busy restaurant 21 hours a day without getting tired. Turns out the restaurant is run by two couples … both the men and women are identical twins!
Locals had nicknamed the eatery the "robot couple restaurant" as they couldn't understand how the same couple seemed to be on duty from 6am through to 3am. However, a journalist from Today Morning Post interviewed the restaurant owner and found out the truth. It turned out that the twin brothers, 32, married a set of twin sisters from the same township three years ago and moved to Yiwu to run the restaurant together. "Many diners thought we worked too hard and are like robots, but they don't know that we are actually four people," said Mao Zhanghua, 32, the elder brother.
Undersea Restaurant (MALDIVES)The first-ever undersea restaurant in the world has been introduced at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa in April 2007. Ithaa (which is pronounced “eet-ha” and means “pearl” in the language of the Maldives, Dhivehi) sits five meters below the waves of the Indian Ocean, surrounded by a vibrant coral reef and encased in clear acrylic, offering diners 270 degrees of panoramic underwater views. This innovative restaurant is the first of its kind in the world, and is part of a US $5 million re-build of Rangalifinolhu Island, one of the twin islands that make up Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa. This re-build includes the construction of 79 of the most luxurious beach villas in the country as well as the Spa Village, a self-contained, over-water “resort-within-a-resort” consisting of a spa, restaurant and 21 villas.
Condom Restaurant (THAILAND)"Cabbages and Condoms" is a chain of restaurants in Thailand. There are condoms on the walls and pictures of condoms printed on the carpets. Instead of after-dinner mints, patrons are offered a bowl of condoms at the counter. Profits from the restaurants go to support the Population and Community Development Association (PDA).
Medical Restaurant (TAIPEI)D.S. Music Restaurant in Taipei, Taiwan is a medical-themed restaurant with crutches on the wall, waitresses dressed a nurses, and drinks served from an IV drip bottle! The owner came up with the idea to express his gratitude for care he received at a local hospital.
Cannibalistic Restaurant (JAPAN)"Nyotaimori" (which literally means "female body plate") is the name of the japanese restaurant that serves sushi and sashimi on a naked woman's body. The body is made from food and placed on an operating table, much as though in a hospital. You can "operate" anyway and anywhere you want by cutting open the body and eating what you find inside. The body will actually bleed as you cut it and the intestines and organs inside are completely edible. It's a banquet of Cannibalism.
Toilet Restaurant (TAIWAN)Have you ever heard of people eating out of a bathroom toilet and having great fun? A restaurant named Marton Theme Restaurant, in Kaohsiung (Taiwan) has a toilet theme and is a great hit among people. The restaurant has a bathroom decor, with colorful toilet seat being the standard chairs at the restaurant. It also serves food in plates and bowls shaped like western loo seats and Japanese “squat” toilets. Customers sits by a tables converted from a bathtub with a glass cover while looking at a wall decorated with neon-lit faucets and urinals turned into lamps. The restaurant is named after the Chinese word "Matong" for toilet and is doing really well. The owner Eric Wang says "We not only sell food but also laughter. The food is just as good as any restaurant but we offer additional fun. Most customers think the more disgusting and exaggerated (the restaurant is), the funnier the dining experience is." The meals are cheaply priced with a meal set including soup and ice cream costs from 150 to 250 Taiwan dollars ($6 - $10).
Restaurant in the Sky (BELGIUM)"Dinner in the Sky" is a Brussels based restaurant that serves dinner for up to 22 people… 150 feet in the air! The specially-designed table and chairs are lifted by a crane. Dinner anywhere in Belgium will set you back almost 8 thousand euros; other locations are also available. Remember, you must wear your seat belt, and don't drop your fork!
Dark Restaurant (CHINA)
The first dark restaurant in Asia is officially opened on the 23 December 2006. This restaurant, located in Beijing, China, has its interior painted completely black. Customers are greeted by a brightly lit entrance hall and will be escorted by waiters wearing night vision goggles into the pitch dark dining room to help them find their seats. Flashlights, mobile phones and even luminous watches are prohibited while in this area.
The meal will be taken in this environment with the complete loss of vision. By starving one's sense, your other senses are stimulated to full alert "all so the theory goes" and your food will taste like it's never tasted before. In case you are wondering about the washrooms, they are all brightly lit.
Graveyard Restaurant (INDIA)The bustling "New Lucky Restaurant" in Ahmadabad is famous for its milky tea, its buttery rolls, and the graves between the tables. Krishan Kutti Nair has helped run the restaurant built over a centuries-old Muslim cemetery for close to four decades, but he doesn't know who is buried in the cafe floor. Customers seem to like the graves, which resemble small cement coffins, and that's enough for him.
"The graveyard is good luck," Nair said one recent afternoon after the lunch rush. "Our business is better because of the graveyard." The graves are painted green, stand about shin high, and every day the manager decorates each of them with a single dried flower. They're scattered randomly across the restaurant - one up front next to the cash register, three in the middle next to a table for two, four along the wall near the kitchen.
Restaurant in a Prison (ITALY)A restaurant situated inside the top security prison Fortezza Medicea in Italy is so popular that officials have since opened more branches. Serenaded by Bruno, a pianist doing life for murder, the clientele eat inside a deconsecrated chapel set behind the 60ft high walls, watch towers, searchlights and security cameras of the daunting 500-year-old Fortezza Medicea, at Volterra near Pisa. Under the watchful eye of armed prison warders, a 20-strong team of chefs, kitchen hands and waiters prepares 120 covers for diners who have all undergone strict security checks. Tables are booked up weeks in advance.
Robot Restaurant: run by two identical couples (CHINA)People are confused how a Chinese couple managed to run a busy restaurant 21 hours a day without getting tired. Turns out the restaurant is run by two couples … both the men and women are identical twins!
Locals had nicknamed the eatery the "robot couple restaurant" as they couldn't understand how the same couple seemed to be on duty from 6am through to 3am. However, a journalist from Today Morning Post interviewed the restaurant owner and found out the truth. It turned out that the twin brothers, 32, married a set of twin sisters from the same township three years ago and moved to Yiwu to run the restaurant together. "Many diners thought we worked too hard and are like robots, but they don't know that we are actually four people," said Mao Zhanghua, 32, the elder brother.
Undersea Restaurant (MALDIVES)The first-ever undersea restaurant in the world has been introduced at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa in April 2007. Ithaa (which is pronounced “eet-ha” and means “pearl” in the language of the Maldives, Dhivehi) sits five meters below the waves of the Indian Ocean, surrounded by a vibrant coral reef and encased in clear acrylic, offering diners 270 degrees of panoramic underwater views. This innovative restaurant is the first of its kind in the world, and is part of a US $5 million re-build of Rangalifinolhu Island, one of the twin islands that make up Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa. This re-build includes the construction of 79 of the most luxurious beach villas in the country as well as the Spa Village, a self-contained, over-water “resort-within-a-resort” consisting of a spa, restaurant and 21 villas.
Condom Restaurant (THAILAND)"Cabbages and Condoms" is a chain of restaurants in Thailand. There are condoms on the walls and pictures of condoms printed on the carpets. Instead of after-dinner mints, patrons are offered a bowl of condoms at the counter. Profits from the restaurants go to support the Population and Community Development Association (PDA).
Medical Restaurant (TAIPEI)D.S. Music Restaurant in Taipei, Taiwan is a medical-themed restaurant with crutches on the wall, waitresses dressed a nurses, and drinks served from an IV drip bottle! The owner came up with the idea to express his gratitude for care he received at a local hospital.
Chocolate Tribute
Today is Best Job in the World Day! In 2002, the London grocery store Fortnum & Mason advertised for someone to fill the "best job in the world" when they needed a new chocolate taster. The person who gets the job has to travel around the world in search of the finest varieties of chocolate. Now how sweet is that?!!
~~~
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to
finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and
a chocolate cake. I feel better already."
-- Dave Barry
~~~
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to
finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and
a chocolate cake. I feel better already."
-- Dave Barry
Monday, July 28, 2008
Makeup's Strange Composition
By Adrienne Crezo
(Mental Floss) -- Since ancient times, humans have created personal care products with very strange ingredients, like crocodile excrement and arsenic.
You may not want to know all the weird stuff that may be in your makeup items. Today, the ingredients are only slightly less bizarre. Here are nine weird items you may not have known about.
1. Sodium chloride (table salt)
Good old table salt is a common ingredient in shampoo, facial cleanser, body wash, bubble bath, and anything else that foams. These products are made using specific combinations of surface-active agents (surfactants), which usually require salt to reach a usable viscosity.
The next time you shudder with delight while working your hair into a lather, take a second to peek at the back of that shampoo bottle and see if your friend, table salt, is in the mix.
2. Oleoresin Capsicum (pepper spray)
If you're a police officer, vigilante, or really serious about self-defense, you know Oleoresin Capsicum is the primary component of pepper spray. Specifically, it's the pepper part.
Why, pray tell, would there be pepper spray in your lipstick? Well, there probably wouldn't be (barring the possibility of a horrible, horrible joke), but there might be some capsicum in any product that causes a warming sensation when applied topically (don't think lube-- external use only!) and in many over-the-counter pain and itch creams.
3. Diatomaceous Earth (a component in dynamite)
Also known as diatomite, this is one of the two components of dynamite (along with nitroglycerin). DE is a silica-based powder made of the fossilized remains of diatoms, a kind of spherical, hard-shelled algae.
Because the particles are hollow, they are very porous; it is even utilized in cat litter and water filtration processes. In cosmetics, diatomaceous earth finds a home in natural toothpastes, deodorant, absorbent powders, cuticle cream, and in mild-exfoliation products due to its gentle abrasiveness.
4. Albumen (egg whites)
Egg whites are sticky and gooey, but they constrict very efficiently when dried, and are used in skin-firming products for just this reason.
Processed for purity and spray-dried for industrial use, albumen doesn't exactly resemble your breakfast. But the next time you take half an hour to use that peppermint hydrating peel-off mask, think about the eggs you left in that pan this morning.
5. Plastics
In addition to the obvious packaging role, plastic serves as a film-former in hair gel, hairspray, barrier products, and liquid bandages.
Used as polyvinyl alcohol and various other forms, plastics are easily incorporated into many skin and hair care products. Plastic keeps your coif in that perfect "Flock of Seagulls" swoop, makes your waterproof mascara waterproof, and suspends those little beads in your eye gel.
Speaking of beads, tiny polyethylene spheres are frequently used in exfoliating scrubs. The products are generally marketed as "extra gentle," since they are perfectly round and do not damage the skin's surface when used in moderation.
6. Simethicone (gas relief drops)
To all mommies who have lain awake with a fussy baby, this ingredient is better known as gas relief drops (Mylicon is a popular brand.) For cosmetic and industrial purposes, the generic name 'antifoam' is usually applied.
For the same reasons we ingest it, simethicone is used in cosmetics during the manufacturing process to reduce the surface tension of air or gas bubbles, causing them to collect and rise upward. In a baby, this is called 'burping' and the process is identical in cosmetic manufacturing, although it lacks the distinctive noise and cuteness.
7. Urea (formerly extracted from urine)
As a cosmetic ingredient, urea is a functional skin-softener and humectant, which means it helps to collect and hold moisture in the skin.
And thank goodness it isn't extracted from horse urine anymore, because a form of urea (diazolidinyl urea, specifically) is widely used in all manner of cosmetics, household cleansers and hair products as a broad-spectrum antimicrobial and preservative.
8. Propylene Glycol (not antifreeze)
Commonly mistaken for its lethal and less human-contact friendly cousin, ethylene glycol (antifreeze), propylene glycol gets a bad rap.
Used to moisturize the skin and hair, as a primary ingredient in "self-warming" products (this time, think lube), and to extract herbal ingredients for greater stability and efficacy than water, propylene glycol is a multi-tasker in the cosmetic quiver of tricks.
While it is not toxic or harmful, propylene glycol just so happens to share a few of its unsavory relative's anti-freezing effects; it is commonly used on the wings of aircraft to prevent the accumulation of ice crystals and excess moisture, which can cause drag and erratic flap control.
9. Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (or, as my granny called it, shortnin')
This is the exact thing that you buy in the giant metal can, and that comes in a 20-pound brick for the food service industry. Topically, hydrogenated vegetable oil is an amazing skin-softener, emollient, and barrier ingredient.
You can find it in most heavy body and foot creams, lip balms, and in some suntan products. Although the trans fat content is a legitimate reason to avoid eating it, it actually improves the cosmetic performance of the ingredient -- many substitutions for petrolatum contain a hefty proportion of hydrogenated vegetable oil.
(Mental Floss) -- Since ancient times, humans have created personal care products with very strange ingredients, like crocodile excrement and arsenic.
You may not want to know all the weird stuff that may be in your makeup items. Today, the ingredients are only slightly less bizarre. Here are nine weird items you may not have known about.
1. Sodium chloride (table salt)
Good old table salt is a common ingredient in shampoo, facial cleanser, body wash, bubble bath, and anything else that foams. These products are made using specific combinations of surface-active agents (surfactants), which usually require salt to reach a usable viscosity.
The next time you shudder with delight while working your hair into a lather, take a second to peek at the back of that shampoo bottle and see if your friend, table salt, is in the mix.
2. Oleoresin Capsicum (pepper spray)
If you're a police officer, vigilante, or really serious about self-defense, you know Oleoresin Capsicum is the primary component of pepper spray. Specifically, it's the pepper part.
Why, pray tell, would there be pepper spray in your lipstick? Well, there probably wouldn't be (barring the possibility of a horrible, horrible joke), but there might be some capsicum in any product that causes a warming sensation when applied topically (don't think lube-- external use only!) and in many over-the-counter pain and itch creams.
3. Diatomaceous Earth (a component in dynamite)
Also known as diatomite, this is one of the two components of dynamite (along with nitroglycerin). DE is a silica-based powder made of the fossilized remains of diatoms, a kind of spherical, hard-shelled algae.
Because the particles are hollow, they are very porous; it is even utilized in cat litter and water filtration processes. In cosmetics, diatomaceous earth finds a home in natural toothpastes, deodorant, absorbent powders, cuticle cream, and in mild-exfoliation products due to its gentle abrasiveness.
4. Albumen (egg whites)
Egg whites are sticky and gooey, but they constrict very efficiently when dried, and are used in skin-firming products for just this reason.
Processed for purity and spray-dried for industrial use, albumen doesn't exactly resemble your breakfast. But the next time you take half an hour to use that peppermint hydrating peel-off mask, think about the eggs you left in that pan this morning.
5. Plastics
In addition to the obvious packaging role, plastic serves as a film-former in hair gel, hairspray, barrier products, and liquid bandages.
Used as polyvinyl alcohol and various other forms, plastics are easily incorporated into many skin and hair care products. Plastic keeps your coif in that perfect "Flock of Seagulls" swoop, makes your waterproof mascara waterproof, and suspends those little beads in your eye gel.
Speaking of beads, tiny polyethylene spheres are frequently used in exfoliating scrubs. The products are generally marketed as "extra gentle," since they are perfectly round and do not damage the skin's surface when used in moderation.
6. Simethicone (gas relief drops)
To all mommies who have lain awake with a fussy baby, this ingredient is better known as gas relief drops (Mylicon is a popular brand.) For cosmetic and industrial purposes, the generic name 'antifoam' is usually applied.
For the same reasons we ingest it, simethicone is used in cosmetics during the manufacturing process to reduce the surface tension of air or gas bubbles, causing them to collect and rise upward. In a baby, this is called 'burping' and the process is identical in cosmetic manufacturing, although it lacks the distinctive noise and cuteness.
7. Urea (formerly extracted from urine)
As a cosmetic ingredient, urea is a functional skin-softener and humectant, which means it helps to collect and hold moisture in the skin.
And thank goodness it isn't extracted from horse urine anymore, because a form of urea (diazolidinyl urea, specifically) is widely used in all manner of cosmetics, household cleansers and hair products as a broad-spectrum antimicrobial and preservative.
8. Propylene Glycol (not antifreeze)
Commonly mistaken for its lethal and less human-contact friendly cousin, ethylene glycol (antifreeze), propylene glycol gets a bad rap.
Used to moisturize the skin and hair, as a primary ingredient in "self-warming" products (this time, think lube), and to extract herbal ingredients for greater stability and efficacy than water, propylene glycol is a multi-tasker in the cosmetic quiver of tricks.
While it is not toxic or harmful, propylene glycol just so happens to share a few of its unsavory relative's anti-freezing effects; it is commonly used on the wings of aircraft to prevent the accumulation of ice crystals and excess moisture, which can cause drag and erratic flap control.
9. Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (or, as my granny called it, shortnin')
This is the exact thing that you buy in the giant metal can, and that comes in a 20-pound brick for the food service industry. Topically, hydrogenated vegetable oil is an amazing skin-softener, emollient, and barrier ingredient.
You can find it in most heavy body and foot creams, lip balms, and in some suntan products. Although the trans fat content is a legitimate reason to avoid eating it, it actually improves the cosmetic performance of the ingredient -- many substitutions for petrolatum contain a hefty proportion of hydrogenated vegetable oil.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
EBay News
Motorcycle Stolen in 1974 Found on eBay
Thursday, July 24, 2008 AP Article
NEWARK, N.J. — Prosecutors say a Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was stolen nearly 34 years ago in Rhode Island has surfaced in central New Jersey.
The 1971 Sportster was purchased on eBay for $2,400 by Michael Meistrell of Cranford.
The Union County prosecutor's office said he learned it was stolen on Halloween 1974 in Providence, R.I., after he contacted Harley-Davidson for more information about the vehicle.
Prosecutor Theodore Romankow said Meistrell and several other prior owners never realized the motorcycle had been stolen, including the Voorhees man who was the recent seller.
EBay will reimburse Meistrell under its policy protecting those who inadvertently buy stolen vehicles.
The original owner is being traced and no arrests have yet been made.
Thursday, July 24, 2008 AP Article
NEWARK, N.J. — Prosecutors say a Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was stolen nearly 34 years ago in Rhode Island has surfaced in central New Jersey.
The 1971 Sportster was purchased on eBay for $2,400 by Michael Meistrell of Cranford.
The Union County prosecutor's office said he learned it was stolen on Halloween 1974 in Providence, R.I., after he contacted Harley-Davidson for more information about the vehicle.
Prosecutor Theodore Romankow said Meistrell and several other prior owners never realized the motorcycle had been stolen, including the Voorhees man who was the recent seller.
EBay will reimburse Meistrell under its policy protecting those who inadvertently buy stolen vehicles.
The original owner is being traced and no arrests have yet been made.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Now
Beginning today
I will no longer worry about yesterday.
It is in the past and the past will never change.
Only I can change by choosing to do so.
Beginning today
I will no longer worry about tomorrow.
Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to
make the most of it. But I cannot make the
most of tomorrow without first
making the most of today.
Beginning today
I will look in the mirror and I will see a
person worthy of my respect and admiration.
This capable person looking back at me is
someone I enjoy spending time with and someone
I would like to get to know better.
Beginning today
I will cherish each moment of my life.
I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world
and I will unselfishly share this gift
with others. I will use this gift to enhance
the lives of others.
Beginning today
I will take a moment to step off the beaten path
and to revel in the mysteries I encounter.
I will face challenges with courage and
determination. I will overcome what barriers
there may be which hinder my quest for
growth and self-improvement.
Beginning today
I will take life one day at a time, one
step at a time. Discouragement will not be
allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to
succeed or my capacity to love.
Beginning today
I walk with renewed faith in human kindness.
Regardless of what has gone before, I believe
there is hope for a brighter and better future.
Beginning today
I will open my mind and my heart.
I will welcome new experiences.
I will meet new people.
I will not expect perfection from myself
nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in
an imperfect world. But I will applaud
the attempt to overcome human foibles.
Beginning today
I am responsible for my own happiness and
I will do things that make me happy
admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen
to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a
puppy, soak in a bubble bath pleasure
can be found in the most simple of gestures.
Beginning today
I will learn something new; I will try something
different; I will savor all the various
flavors life has to offer.
I will change what I can and the rest I will let go.
I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.
Beginning today.
And every day.
Written By: Penny White
I will no longer worry about yesterday.
It is in the past and the past will never change.
Only I can change by choosing to do so.
Beginning today
I will no longer worry about tomorrow.
Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to
make the most of it. But I cannot make the
most of tomorrow without first
making the most of today.
Beginning today
I will look in the mirror and I will see a
person worthy of my respect and admiration.
This capable person looking back at me is
someone I enjoy spending time with and someone
I would like to get to know better.
Beginning today
I will cherish each moment of my life.
I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world
and I will unselfishly share this gift
with others. I will use this gift to enhance
the lives of others.
Beginning today
I will take a moment to step off the beaten path
and to revel in the mysteries I encounter.
I will face challenges with courage and
determination. I will overcome what barriers
there may be which hinder my quest for
growth and self-improvement.
Beginning today
I will take life one day at a time, one
step at a time. Discouragement will not be
allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to
succeed or my capacity to love.
Beginning today
I walk with renewed faith in human kindness.
Regardless of what has gone before, I believe
there is hope for a brighter and better future.
Beginning today
I will open my mind and my heart.
I will welcome new experiences.
I will meet new people.
I will not expect perfection from myself
nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in
an imperfect world. But I will applaud
the attempt to overcome human foibles.
Beginning today
I am responsible for my own happiness and
I will do things that make me happy
admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen
to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a
puppy, soak in a bubble bath pleasure
can be found in the most simple of gestures.
Beginning today
I will learn something new; I will try something
different; I will savor all the various
flavors life has to offer.
I will change what I can and the rest I will let go.
I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.
Beginning today.
And every day.
Written By: Penny White
The Grandma who Could
By Neil Eskelin
At the age of eighty, a farmer's wife in Cambridge , Virginia , suffered from painful arthritis. The mother of ten children and many grandchildren -- and great-grandchildren -- loved to do needlework, but her fingers could no longer manipulate the large needle to embroider.
The elderly woman looked for something else that would keep her occupied and found she could hold a small paintbrush much easier than a needle. So she tried her hand painting. She thought her farm and country scenes were good enough to show at the Cambridge Fair, but only won prizes for her jams and canned fruit. There were no blue ribbons for her art.
Then one day an art collector from New York City was traveling through the village and noticed several of her paintings for sale in a local drug store. When he showed them to his friends in the art circles of Manhattan , they were more than curious.
Soon, 'Grandma Moses' gained an international reputation. Her widely-collected works of art were featured on calendars, greeting cards and in exhibitions in leading galleries including the Modern Museum of Art in New York .
Even more amazing, twenty-five percent of her 1,500 popular paintings were done after she was 100!
At the age of eighty, a farmer's wife in Cambridge , Virginia , suffered from painful arthritis. The mother of ten children and many grandchildren -- and great-grandchildren -- loved to do needlework, but her fingers could no longer manipulate the large needle to embroider.
The elderly woman looked for something else that would keep her occupied and found she could hold a small paintbrush much easier than a needle. So she tried her hand painting. She thought her farm and country scenes were good enough to show at the Cambridge Fair, but only won prizes for her jams and canned fruit. There were no blue ribbons for her art.
Then one day an art collector from New York City was traveling through the village and noticed several of her paintings for sale in a local drug store. When he showed them to his friends in the art circles of Manhattan , they were more than curious.
Soon, 'Grandma Moses' gained an international reputation. Her widely-collected works of art were featured on calendars, greeting cards and in exhibitions in leading galleries including the Modern Museum of Art in New York .
Even more amazing, twenty-five percent of her 1,500 popular paintings were done after she was 100!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Only in New York
New York's weirdest spa treatments
BY AMY EISINGER
Thursday, July 24th 2008, 4:00 AM
Leeches? Bird dung? Now that's relaxation.
Forget chocolate manicures and caviar facials. The newest beauty treatments are getting a little fishy. Literally.
Yvonne Hair, Nails & Tanning Salon of Alexandria, Va., for instance, allows small fish to nibble the dead skin from their clients' feet. Just $45 gets you 15 minutes with the fishies and a full pedicure.
"If you're sensitive, it's really ticklish for the first few minutes, but then most people really enjoy it and come back for more," said one spa employee.
But don't head to Virginia just yet, New York City has a few lesser-known beauty treatments with plenty of shock value. And while some almost sound enjoyable, others can be downright painful.
Here are some of the strangest New York spa treatments worth trying at least once - just to say you did.
THAI BLACK PEPPER BODY SCRUB, Poh Tree Thai Spa, 122 Ludlow St.; $135. (212) 598-4241.
What to expect: This three-step full-body process starts with a green tea compound to moisturize the skin. Next, black pepper is rubbed all over, causing a strong tingling sensation. Finally, the skin is soothed again with a protein extracted from live silkworms.
What it does: The point is to make you hot and sweaty, which detoxifies your body and makes you lose water weight," said Andrew Unger, co-founder of Lifebooker.com.
LEECH THERAPY, The Continuum Center for Health and Healing, 245 Fifth Ave., second floor; $600. (646) 935-2259.
What to expect: These aren't your average bloodsuckers. The medical leech, Hirudo medicinalis, is actually regulated by the FDA and used to treat osteoarthritis. Leeches are placed on the body for 60 minutes of blood slurping before they're full, at which point they roll over and fall off.
What it does: In the U.S., they're often used to reduce swelling and treat some medical conditions. But celebrities like Demi Moore also admit to trying them as a trendy new way of detoxing.
THE GEISHA FACIAL, Shizuka New York, 7 W. 51st St., sixth floor; $180. (212) 644 7400.
What to expect: Based on an ancient Japanese geisha practice, the treatment uses "uguisu no fun," or nightingale dung, as its main ingredient. The droppings are sterilized, ground into a fine white powder and then mixed into a mask, which is said to have a slightly "musky" aroma.
What it does: For lightening, brightening and balancing skin tones that have been damaged by acne or the sun.
PLATZA OAK LEAF TREATMENT, Russian Turkish Baths, 268 E. 10th St.; $35. (212) 473-8806.
What to expect: The hottest treatment on this list. Clients sweat it out in a traditional Russian communal sauna - kept at far higher temperatures than usual. Next, they are swatted with a bundle of birch branches dipped in olive oil. "It's not pampering," said Melisse Gelula, editor-in-chief of Spafinder Lifestyle. Brace for it: The whole thing is finished off with a plunge in ice-cold water.
What it does: "The belief is that it stimulates circulation, which is good for the immune system, like when you pat your cheeks and get a rosy glow," Gelula added.
THE 'OTHER' FACE LIFT, Phit, 133 E. 58th St. (212) 935-4011.
What to expect: A feminine med-spa, opening this month, that specializes in the newest beauty craze: cosmogynecology. The "other" face lift is a noninvasive procedure to firm everything up down there. Simple as that.
What it does: The idea is it strengthen's your all-important muscles. "I like to think of it as a pelvic Pilates place," said Gelula.
BY AMY EISINGER
Thursday, July 24th 2008, 4:00 AM
Leeches? Bird dung? Now that's relaxation.
Forget chocolate manicures and caviar facials. The newest beauty treatments are getting a little fishy. Literally.
Yvonne Hair, Nails & Tanning Salon of Alexandria, Va., for instance, allows small fish to nibble the dead skin from their clients' feet. Just $45 gets you 15 minutes with the fishies and a full pedicure.
"If you're sensitive, it's really ticklish for the first few minutes, but then most people really enjoy it and come back for more," said one spa employee.
But don't head to Virginia just yet, New York City has a few lesser-known beauty treatments with plenty of shock value. And while some almost sound enjoyable, others can be downright painful.
Here are some of the strangest New York spa treatments worth trying at least once - just to say you did.
THAI BLACK PEPPER BODY SCRUB, Poh Tree Thai Spa, 122 Ludlow St.; $135. (212) 598-4241.
What to expect: This three-step full-body process starts with a green tea compound to moisturize the skin. Next, black pepper is rubbed all over, causing a strong tingling sensation. Finally, the skin is soothed again with a protein extracted from live silkworms.
What it does: The point is to make you hot and sweaty, which detoxifies your body and makes you lose water weight," said Andrew Unger, co-founder of Lifebooker.com.
LEECH THERAPY, The Continuum Center for Health and Healing, 245 Fifth Ave., second floor; $600. (646) 935-2259.
What to expect: These aren't your average bloodsuckers. The medical leech, Hirudo medicinalis, is actually regulated by the FDA and used to treat osteoarthritis. Leeches are placed on the body for 60 minutes of blood slurping before they're full, at which point they roll over and fall off.
What it does: In the U.S., they're often used to reduce swelling and treat some medical conditions. But celebrities like Demi Moore also admit to trying them as a trendy new way of detoxing.
THE GEISHA FACIAL, Shizuka New York, 7 W. 51st St., sixth floor; $180. (212) 644 7400.
What to expect: Based on an ancient Japanese geisha practice, the treatment uses "uguisu no fun," or nightingale dung, as its main ingredient. The droppings are sterilized, ground into a fine white powder and then mixed into a mask, which is said to have a slightly "musky" aroma.
What it does: For lightening, brightening and balancing skin tones that have been damaged by acne or the sun.
PLATZA OAK LEAF TREATMENT, Russian Turkish Baths, 268 E. 10th St.; $35. (212) 473-8806.
What to expect: The hottest treatment on this list. Clients sweat it out in a traditional Russian communal sauna - kept at far higher temperatures than usual. Next, they are swatted with a bundle of birch branches dipped in olive oil. "It's not pampering," said Melisse Gelula, editor-in-chief of Spafinder Lifestyle. Brace for it: The whole thing is finished off with a plunge in ice-cold water.
What it does: "The belief is that it stimulates circulation, which is good for the immune system, like when you pat your cheeks and get a rosy glow," Gelula added.
THE 'OTHER' FACE LIFT, Phit, 133 E. 58th St. (212) 935-4011.
What to expect: A feminine med-spa, opening this month, that specializes in the newest beauty craze: cosmogynecology. The "other" face lift is a noninvasive procedure to firm everything up down there. Simple as that.
What it does: The idea is it strengthen's your all-important muscles. "I like to think of it as a pelvic Pilates place," said Gelula.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Tao of Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance, a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions:
1. What are two days of the week that begin with "T"?
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered:
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
3. God has two first names, and they are Andy and Howard.
Saint Peter said, "Ok, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected. Technically, your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why do you think God's first name is either Andy or Howard?"Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, and so on."
"Ok then, I give," said Saint Peter. "But what about God's first name?"
Forrest said, "Well, from the song...Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own...And then from the prayer...Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."
In order to gain admittance, a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions:
1. What are two days of the week that begin with "T"?
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered:
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
3. God has two first names, and they are Andy and Howard.
Saint Peter said, "Ok, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected. Technically, your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why do you think God's first name is either Andy or Howard?"Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, and so on."
"Ok then, I give," said Saint Peter. "But what about God's first name?"
Forrest said, "Well, from the song...Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own...And then from the prayer...Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."
MSG in New York
Madison Square is formed by the intersection of Fifth Avenue and
Broadway at 23rd Street in the New York City borough of Manhattan. The square was named for James Madison, fourth President of the United States and the principal author of the American Constitution.
The use of "Madison Square" as a name for the neighborhood has
fallen off, and it is rarely heard.
Madison Square is probably best known around the world for lending its' name to Madison Square Garden, which was a sports arena located just northeast of the park until 1925. The current Madison Square Garden, the fourth such building, is not in the area.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
For 17 years I lived on 23rd Street, about 15 blocks from MSG. More importantly, it's only two blocks from Macy's!
Broadway at 23rd Street in the New York City borough of Manhattan. The square was named for James Madison, fourth President of the United States and the principal author of the American Constitution.
The use of "Madison Square" as a name for the neighborhood has
fallen off, and it is rarely heard.
Madison Square is probably best known around the world for lending its' name to Madison Square Garden, which was a sports arena located just northeast of the park until 1925. The current Madison Square Garden, the fourth such building, is not in the area.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
For 17 years I lived on 23rd Street, about 15 blocks from MSG. More importantly, it's only two blocks from Macy's!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Duh!
Break-in suspects found asleep on stolen goods
Monday, July 21, 2008
MONROE, Wash. — Police say a trail of pillows and backpacks led to two sleeping men who were arrested after a department store break-in.
Twenty-five-year-old Kyle Burress and 27-year-old Allen Pierce have been charged with second-degree burglary.
Police spokeswoman Debbie Willis says a break-in was discovered July 9 at a Fred Meyer department store northeast of Seattle. The two were still being held on bail Monday, and it was not clear whether they had lawyers.
Willis says police followed a trail of cardboard and items from storage containers in a locked area behind the store that led to the two men. One was sleeping in a stolen hammock and the other on a pile of stolen pillows.
Police photographed the men before waking and arresting them.
Willis says alcohol was involved.
Monday, July 21, 2008
MONROE, Wash. — Police say a trail of pillows and backpacks led to two sleeping men who were arrested after a department store break-in.
Twenty-five-year-old Kyle Burress and 27-year-old Allen Pierce have been charged with second-degree burglary.
Police spokeswoman Debbie Willis says a break-in was discovered July 9 at a Fred Meyer department store northeast of Seattle. The two were still being held on bail Monday, and it was not clear whether they had lawyers.
Willis says police followed a trail of cardboard and items from storage containers in a locked area behind the store that led to the two men. One was sleeping in a stolen hammock and the other on a pile of stolen pillows.
Police photographed the men before waking and arresting them.
Willis says alcohol was involved.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Make It Count
Making Character Count
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built. Not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom, and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built. Not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom, and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Re: Voting
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.
Vote carefully this year.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.
Vote carefully this year.
Prohibition Stuff
Back during Prohibition, according to "Rumrunners & Revenuers:
Prohibition in Vermont," by Scott Wheeler (New England Press,
2002), booze smugglers bringing bottled contraband across the Canadian border did not rely on driving skills alone to escape pursuing revenue agents.
One tactic was bovine interference. The smuggler would pay a
local farmer to be waiting to move his cows across the road
just after the booze-laden car roared by. Another trick was
a 1920s cloaking device: the driver would pull a lever that
poured oil on the hot exhaust to generate a thick smoke cloud...
Prohibition in Vermont," by Scott Wheeler (New England Press,
2002), booze smugglers bringing bottled contraband across the Canadian border did not rely on driving skills alone to escape pursuing revenue agents.
One tactic was bovine interference. The smuggler would pay a
local farmer to be waiting to move his cows across the road
just after the booze-laden car roared by. Another trick was
a 1920s cloaking device: the driver would pull a lever that
poured oil on the hot exhaust to generate a thick smoke cloud...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tips about your Body
Some little-known practical tips about your body
In a very entertaining article "15 (there are really 18)tricks to teach your body" from Men's Health magazine you can learn a few astonishing, and practical things about your body. The ones I particularly liked:
1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear.
"When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm... This spasm relieves the tickle."
2. Your right ear is better than your left at following the rapid rhythms of speech (good tip for spies!) The left ear is better at picking up music tones.
4. Feel no pain!
Coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick.
5. Clear your stuffed nose!
Forget Sudafed. An easier way is by alternately thrusting your tongue against the roof of your mouth, then pressing between your eyebrows with one finger.
7. Cure your toothache without opening your mouth!
Just rub ice on the back of your hand, on the V-shaped webbed area between your thumb and index finger... reduces toothache pain by as much as 50 percent
12. Make your heart stand still!
Trying to quell first-date jitters? Blow on your thumb. The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled through breathing... It'll get your heart rate back to normal.
15. If your hand falls asleep while you're driving or sitting in an odd position,
rock your head from side to side. It'll painlessly banish your pins and needles in less than a minute.
In a very entertaining article "15 (there are really 18)tricks to teach your body" from Men's Health magazine you can learn a few astonishing, and practical things about your body. The ones I particularly liked:
1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear.
"When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm... This spasm relieves the tickle."
2. Your right ear is better than your left at following the rapid rhythms of speech (good tip for spies!) The left ear is better at picking up music tones.
4. Feel no pain!
Coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick.
5. Clear your stuffed nose!
Forget Sudafed. An easier way is by alternately thrusting your tongue against the roof of your mouth, then pressing between your eyebrows with one finger.
7. Cure your toothache without opening your mouth!
Just rub ice on the back of your hand, on the V-shaped webbed area between your thumb and index finger... reduces toothache pain by as much as 50 percent
12. Make your heart stand still!
Trying to quell first-date jitters? Blow on your thumb. The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled through breathing... It'll get your heart rate back to normal.
15. If your hand falls asleep while you're driving or sitting in an odd position,
rock your head from side to side. It'll painlessly banish your pins and needles in less than a minute.
Medical Nightmare
FOXNEWS.COM
Man's Leg Amputated After Doctors Make Cast Too Tight
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A man was forced to have his leg amputated after doctors allegedly fit him with a cast that was too tight, London’s Daily Mail reported.
Tom Talks, 80, of Rochdale, England, was walking his dog when he broke his ankle and was immediately put in a cast.
But the cast left him in severe pain, which had him returning to the hospital several times, he told the newspaper. Initially, doctors refused to loosen the cast.
After Talks collapsed, surgeons found an infection underneath the cast so severe; the leg had to be amputated.
“Every day for a week I begged them to release the pressure,” Talks said. It felt like my leg was trying to burst out of its skin.”
Talks also suffered a heart attack and kidney problems in the hospital.
“I knew my wife couldn’t cope with losing me, so I told him to amputate my leg. I’m not angry about what happened, that only leads to bitterness, but I want them to find out what went wrong so this doesn’t happen to another patient,” Talks said.
Health officials at Pennine Acute Trust, which runs North Manchester General Hospital and Fairfield Hospitals where Talks has been treated, said they have launched a full investigation.
“We can confirm that a complaint has been received from the family,” a spokesman for Pennine Acute Trust said. “As this matter is now part of the formal complaint process, we cannot comment further.”
Man's Leg Amputated After Doctors Make Cast Too Tight
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A man was forced to have his leg amputated after doctors allegedly fit him with a cast that was too tight, London’s Daily Mail reported.
Tom Talks, 80, of Rochdale, England, was walking his dog when he broke his ankle and was immediately put in a cast.
But the cast left him in severe pain, which had him returning to the hospital several times, he told the newspaper. Initially, doctors refused to loosen the cast.
After Talks collapsed, surgeons found an infection underneath the cast so severe; the leg had to be amputated.
“Every day for a week I begged them to release the pressure,” Talks said. It felt like my leg was trying to burst out of its skin.”
Talks also suffered a heart attack and kidney problems in the hospital.
“I knew my wife couldn’t cope with losing me, so I told him to amputate my leg. I’m not angry about what happened, that only leads to bitterness, but I want them to find out what went wrong so this doesn’t happen to another patient,” Talks said.
Health officials at Pennine Acute Trust, which runs North Manchester General Hospital and Fairfield Hospitals where Talks has been treated, said they have launched a full investigation.
“We can confirm that a complaint has been received from the family,” a spokesman for Pennine Acute Trust said. “As this matter is now part of the formal complaint process, we cannot comment further.”
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
What's in a Name?
What’s In A Name?
Posted by James Published in Humor
That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Marion Michael Morrison just doesn’t have the same ring as John Wayne. Names are important. They have influence. Take for example, the strength conveyed when the Rock of Gibralter and the Hudson River came together to create Rock Hudson. Here are a few more interesting facts about names:
“Me, Tarzan. You, Jane. . .Parker.” Yes, that was the vine swinger’s partner’s last name.
One of the most recognizable dolls on the planet is named Barbie, Barbie Roberts to be exact and her boyfriend’s name – Ken Carson.
The Skipper kept his professional distance from Gilligan never once calling him by his first name, Willy.
He hid his identity behind a mask, but I’ll bet Tonto knew the Lone Ranger’s real name was John Reid.
The next time you are eating a Granny Smith apple, you can thank Maria Ann Smith for sharing her name with the fruit.
The L.L. of L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood.
Surveyor Col. Sir George Everest lent his name to the highest peak in the world.
Hector Boiardi changed the spelling of his name on his products to Chef Boyardee because no one could pronounce his name.
Ian Fleming borrowed the name of his most famous character, James Bond, from an ornithologist from Philadelphia. While living in Jamaica and working on his first novel about the British spy, Fleming picked up Birds of West India by the real Bond. He chose the name because it was brief, unromantic and masculine.
The chef on the Cream of Wheat box goes by the moniker of Rastus.
Bingo was the name-O of the Cracker Jack dog. The Taco Bell dog answers to Gidget.
The name of the cigarette company’s symbol is Joe Camel.
Charles Pillsbury started out milling flour with his uncle. In their first year of business, he made $6,000 in profit. He took the money and started C.A. Pillsbury and Company in 1872. The Pillsbury Doughboy, proper name Poppin’ Fresh, came along in 1965.
According to family legend, Wizard of Oz creator Frank Baum came up with the name for his fictitious land after looking at a filing cabinet with a drawer labeled O-Z.
Teddy Roosevelt was the first to use the term White House. He had it printed on his stationery in 1901.
Posted by James Published in Humor
That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Marion Michael Morrison just doesn’t have the same ring as John Wayne. Names are important. They have influence. Take for example, the strength conveyed when the Rock of Gibralter and the Hudson River came together to create Rock Hudson. Here are a few more interesting facts about names:
“Me, Tarzan. You, Jane. . .Parker.” Yes, that was the vine swinger’s partner’s last name.
One of the most recognizable dolls on the planet is named Barbie, Barbie Roberts to be exact and her boyfriend’s name – Ken Carson.
The Skipper kept his professional distance from Gilligan never once calling him by his first name, Willy.
He hid his identity behind a mask, but I’ll bet Tonto knew the Lone Ranger’s real name was John Reid.
The next time you are eating a Granny Smith apple, you can thank Maria Ann Smith for sharing her name with the fruit.
The L.L. of L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood.
Surveyor Col. Sir George Everest lent his name to the highest peak in the world.
Hector Boiardi changed the spelling of his name on his products to Chef Boyardee because no one could pronounce his name.
Ian Fleming borrowed the name of his most famous character, James Bond, from an ornithologist from Philadelphia. While living in Jamaica and working on his first novel about the British spy, Fleming picked up Birds of West India by the real Bond. He chose the name because it was brief, unromantic and masculine.
The chef on the Cream of Wheat box goes by the moniker of Rastus.
Bingo was the name-O of the Cracker Jack dog. The Taco Bell dog answers to Gidget.
The name of the cigarette company’s symbol is Joe Camel.
Charles Pillsbury started out milling flour with his uncle. In their first year of business, he made $6,000 in profit. He took the money and started C.A. Pillsbury and Company in 1872. The Pillsbury Doughboy, proper name Poppin’ Fresh, came along in 1965.
According to family legend, Wizard of Oz creator Frank Baum came up with the name for his fictitious land after looking at a filing cabinet with a drawer labeled O-Z.
Teddy Roosevelt was the first to use the term White House. He had it printed on his stationery in 1901.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Music Ponderisms
"I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."
— Alfred Hitchcock
"I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch."
— George Burns
"When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano."
— Bob Hope
"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."
— Steve Martin
— Alfred Hitchcock
"I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch."
— George Burns
"When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano."
— Bob Hope
"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."
— Steve Martin
World's Oldest Blogger
Australian woman dies at age 108 after winning an international audience
World's oldest blogger dies in Australia
3:44 a.m. ET, Mon., July. 14, 2008
CANBERRA, Australia - An Australian woman renowned as the world's oldest blogger has died at the age of 108, with her last posting talking about her ailing health but also how she still sings a happy song every day.
Olive Riley, of Woy Woy about 50 miles north of Sydney, began blogging in February last year, sharing stories from her life during the two world wars, raising three children on her own, and working as a station cook in the outback.
The physically frail but mentally alert Riley won an international audience with her blog, The Life of Riley (www.allaboutolive.com.au), and series of videos posted on YouTube with her talking and singing.
World's oldest blogger dies in Australia
3:44 a.m. ET, Mon., July. 14, 2008
CANBERRA, Australia - An Australian woman renowned as the world's oldest blogger has died at the age of 108, with her last posting talking about her ailing health but also how she still sings a happy song every day.
Olive Riley, of Woy Woy about 50 miles north of Sydney, began blogging in February last year, sharing stories from her life during the two world wars, raising three children on her own, and working as a station cook in the outback.
The physically frail but mentally alert Riley won an international audience with her blog, The Life of Riley (www.allaboutolive.com.au), and series of videos posted on YouTube with her talking and singing.
Jolson's Contribution
According to the St. James Encyclopedia of Popular Culture, "Al
Jolson was to jazz, blues, and ragtime what Elvis Presley was to
rock 'n' roll." Being the first popular singer to make a spectacular
"event" out of singing a song, he became a "rock star" before the
dawn of rock music. His specialty was building stage runways
extending out into the audience. He would run up and down the
runway and across the stage, "teasing, cajoling, and thrilling the audience," often stopping to sing to individual members, all the while the "perspiration would be pouring from his face, and the entire audience would get caught up in the ectasy of his performance."
He enjoyed performing in blackface makeup - a theatrical
convention in the early 1900's. With his unique and dynamic
style of singing black music, like jazz and blues, he was later credited with singlehandedly introducing African-American
music to white audiences. As early as 1911, at the age of
25, he also became noted for fighting black discrimination
on the Broadway stage. Jolson's well-known theatrics and his promotion of equality on Broadway helped pave the way for many black performers, playwrights, and songwriters, including Cab Calloway, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Fats Waller, and Ethel Waters.
Jolson was to jazz, blues, and ragtime what Elvis Presley was to
rock 'n' roll." Being the first popular singer to make a spectacular
"event" out of singing a song, he became a "rock star" before the
dawn of rock music. His specialty was building stage runways
extending out into the audience. He would run up and down the
runway and across the stage, "teasing, cajoling, and thrilling the audience," often stopping to sing to individual members, all the while the "perspiration would be pouring from his face, and the entire audience would get caught up in the ectasy of his performance."
He enjoyed performing in blackface makeup - a theatrical
convention in the early 1900's. With his unique and dynamic
style of singing black music, like jazz and blues, he was later credited with singlehandedly introducing African-American
music to white audiences. As early as 1911, at the age of
25, he also became noted for fighting black discrimination
on the Broadway stage. Jolson's well-known theatrics and his promotion of equality on Broadway helped pave the way for many black performers, playwrights, and songwriters, including Cab Calloway, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Fats Waller, and Ethel Waters.
Crop Circles and Laughter
Today is the birthday of Crop Circles? In 1988, the first crop circles appeared on Silbury Hill in England. Crop circles are an unexplained phenomenon that appears in fields of wheat and other grain. Explanations range from tricky rascals to UFOs to unusual energy fields.
Steve watches everything on TV that has to do with UFOs, crop circles, Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle, alien abductions, ghosts and hauntings, etc., and expends a great deal of energy trying to convince me that all of them are real. I am a major skeptic and I keep telling him to save his time, but this accounts for our two TVs.
I, on the other hand, watch things like Trauma in the ER, Diagnosis X, Code Blue, and most cop shows. If they made a show called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Serial Killers, I'd probably watch it. I'd rather be doing stuff on the PC rather than watching TV most of the time.
There's something to be said for opposites attracting!
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Today's Inspirational Quote:
"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and
exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less
cleaning up to do afterward."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
Steve watches everything on TV that has to do with UFOs, crop circles, Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle, alien abductions, ghosts and hauntings, etc., and expends a great deal of energy trying to convince me that all of them are real. I am a major skeptic and I keep telling him to save his time, but this accounts for our two TVs.
I, on the other hand, watch things like Trauma in the ER, Diagnosis X, Code Blue, and most cop shows. If they made a show called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Serial Killers, I'd probably watch it. I'd rather be doing stuff on the PC rather than watching TV most of the time.
There's something to be said for opposites attracting!
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Today's Inspirational Quote:
"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and
exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less
cleaning up to do afterward."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Sun and Procrastination
Two weeks ago after getting huge hives on my upper chest and back the day after being at the beach, I threw away a huge tube of Banana Boat sunscreen figuring that was the problem, and decided to try the beach this past week with no sunscreen.
It was a great plan, but not only did I get hives again, I also got a sunburn! When one has hives on top of a sunburn, one has the potential of scratching to death; instead, I popped some Benadryl which helped the itching and knocked me out. Then I started doing a little research on the Web about hives and sunlight, and found that less than one percent of the population has an allergy to the sun, which is medical jargon, is called polymorphic light eruption wherein the body perceives UV rays as a foreign object and thus fights back with hives. Leave it to me to be a part of that one percent; but I was also part of the one in 300,000 people who get MRSA infection to the extent that I experienced.
Now I'm wondering if all those IV antibiotics I was given during subsequent infections last year have anything to do with my immune system being somewhat compromised, thus causing me to get hives from sun exposure. When Steve and I first moved to Florida, I know Slug and I spent more than two hours in her pool at times but I never got hives. My research quest goes on...
On the organizational front, I'm involved in an ongoing quest to get more organized and less scattered. I ordered a lucite earring rack from Amazon.com that holds up to 128 pairs of earrings. I've driven myself nuts at times trying to find a matching pair of earrings in one of my three jewelry boxes, and then actually FINDING a matching pair but not having backs for them. Now I decided to hang them, all with backs on my rack for ready access which was today's project.
Actually, I was going to start this yesterday, but I couldn't find the little plastic bag of a zillion earring wires and backs for all the missing ones so each pair of earrings would always have a back. Steve and I both have a box condition which causes us to pick up cool decorative, usually wooden boxes (we have 19 of them in various sizes) and each box ideally would be a storage place for something particular, i.e. -- Steve's pipe smoking tools, cat toys, etc.
Steve decided to help me locate my bag of earring backs yesterday and we went through every drawer, closet, box, etc. we own until I finally threw the towel in and said I'd go to KMart today and get another bag of them. I dejectedly went back to the PC to play games and saw one other box on the computer desk, and therein were the backs!!!
I even had about 20 pairs that were too dangly for this rack, so they now reside on a smaller holder.
My next project is my bedroom closet. We're very fortunate that our master bedroom has two huge closets so we each have one of our own. Mine is a disaster area waiting to be declared!
It was a great plan, but not only did I get hives again, I also got a sunburn! When one has hives on top of a sunburn, one has the potential of scratching to death; instead, I popped some Benadryl which helped the itching and knocked me out. Then I started doing a little research on the Web about hives and sunlight, and found that less than one percent of the population has an allergy to the sun, which is medical jargon, is called polymorphic light eruption wherein the body perceives UV rays as a foreign object and thus fights back with hives. Leave it to me to be a part of that one percent; but I was also part of the one in 300,000 people who get MRSA infection to the extent that I experienced.
Now I'm wondering if all those IV antibiotics I was given during subsequent infections last year have anything to do with my immune system being somewhat compromised, thus causing me to get hives from sun exposure. When Steve and I first moved to Florida, I know Slug and I spent more than two hours in her pool at times but I never got hives. My research quest goes on...
On the organizational front, I'm involved in an ongoing quest to get more organized and less scattered. I ordered a lucite earring rack from Amazon.com that holds up to 128 pairs of earrings. I've driven myself nuts at times trying to find a matching pair of earrings in one of my three jewelry boxes, and then actually FINDING a matching pair but not having backs for them. Now I decided to hang them, all with backs on my rack for ready access which was today's project.
Actually, I was going to start this yesterday, but I couldn't find the little plastic bag of a zillion earring wires and backs for all the missing ones so each pair of earrings would always have a back. Steve and I both have a box condition which causes us to pick up cool decorative, usually wooden boxes (we have 19 of them in various sizes) and each box ideally would be a storage place for something particular, i.e. -- Steve's pipe smoking tools, cat toys, etc.
Steve decided to help me locate my bag of earring backs yesterday and we went through every drawer, closet, box, etc. we own until I finally threw the towel in and said I'd go to KMart today and get another bag of them. I dejectedly went back to the PC to play games and saw one other box on the computer desk, and therein were the backs!!!
I even had about 20 pairs that were too dangly for this rack, so they now reside on a smaller holder. My next project is my bedroom closet. We're very fortunate that our master bedroom has two huge closets so we each have one of our own. Mine is a disaster area waiting to be declared!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Me & My Gems
You didn't really think I'd go to a rock shop and not get another gem, did you?
Today I got this amber rock to add to my sapphire and ruby collection. Maybe someday I'll sell all of them and get that house by the beach...
Another Rock Adventure
We went to another rock shop today just for fun and it really WAS fun! The owner, Joe, provides fossils or props to the three major TV networks when requested, and his store is really interesting.
This anchor is from the 1800's.
This is Joe, the shopkeeper, outside the shop with Steve.We've probably never seen this many beads, rocks and fossils in one place before! It's actually overwhelming to see.
This windchime is really made of bone! It's not exactly a must-have item, but it's really unique.
This necklace (which I thought looked like it came from the Flintstones) has stones over a million years old. It's not for sale.
This natural shell is about 20" long and sells for $100. It'd be neat in a really huge house with a pool.
Steve's holding a jade skull that he'd love to buy if he had $100 to burn.
Death by Couch
Woman kills husband with pull-out couch
She allegedly was mad because he was drunk and wouldn't get up
2:28 p.m. ET, Wed., July. 9, 2008
ST PETERSBURG - A Russian woman in St. Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.
St. Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.
advertisement
The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.
Police refused to comment.
The St. Petersburg Emergency Services Ministry said a private rescue service removed the man's body.
Video on the television channel's Web site showed emergency workers sawing away the side panels of a couch to remove a man in his underwear lying headfirst between the cushions.
Emergency workers said the man died instantly.
She allegedly was mad because he was drunk and wouldn't get up
2:28 p.m. ET, Wed., July. 9, 2008
ST PETERSBURG - A Russian woman in St. Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.
St. Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.
advertisement
The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.
Police refused to comment.
The St. Petersburg Emergency Services Ministry said a private rescue service removed the man's body.
Video on the television channel's Web site showed emergency workers sawing away the side panels of a couch to remove a man in his underwear lying headfirst between the cushions.
Emergency workers said the man died instantly.
Metal-Eating Idiot
Docs pull screws, nails from metal-eating man
17 'strange objects' found in stomach of 38-year-old
11:19 a.m. ET, Fri., July. 11, 2008
LIMA, Peru - Doctors in a coastal town in northwestern Peru have rescued the innards of a 38-year-old man by removing 17 metal objects — among them nails, a watch clasp and a knife — that he ate.
Luis Zarate was taken to the regional hospital of Trujillo earlier this week by his family after complaining of sharp stomach pains. Doctors took X-rays of his chest that showed his insides littered with screws.
"There were 17 strange objects found at the level of his stomach and colon," said Dr. Julio Acevedo, one of the surgeons who operated on Zarate.
The black-and-white scans showed Zarate's skeleton interlaced with things like bolts, barbed-wire and pens.
"The objects had caused the stomach to expand," said Acevedo.
Doctors said Zarate was mentally ill but it was not clear why he ate the metal.
17 'strange objects' found in stomach of 38-year-old
11:19 a.m. ET, Fri., July. 11, 2008
LIMA, Peru - Doctors in a coastal town in northwestern Peru have rescued the innards of a 38-year-old man by removing 17 metal objects — among them nails, a watch clasp and a knife — that he ate.
Luis Zarate was taken to the regional hospital of Trujillo earlier this week by his family after complaining of sharp stomach pains. Doctors took X-rays of his chest that showed his insides littered with screws.
"There were 17 strange objects found at the level of his stomach and colon," said Dr. Julio Acevedo, one of the surgeons who operated on Zarate.
The black-and-white scans showed Zarate's skeleton interlaced with things like bolts, barbed-wire and pens.
"The objects had caused the stomach to expand," said Acevedo.
Doctors said Zarate was mentally ill but it was not clear why he ate the metal.
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing
and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her 'I'm sorry,
officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies.
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again, 'I'm
sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says
the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.
and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her 'I'm sorry,
officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies.
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again, 'I'm
sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says
the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A Dental Nightmare
Anne Greer filed a lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient's throat, which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the following year to give Meyers another chance (against his daughter's wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that ultimately proved fatal. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-22-08]
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Aussie Rodney McLagan, 48, indignantly told police that the only reason he had child porn was that it was incidentally acquired when he was busy downloading bestiality porn (including that stuff showing sex with .. an octopus). (The Mercury)
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In November, Bergdorf Goodman in New York City revealed that it was offering showings of the Guerlain cosmetic house's "KissKiss Gold and Diamonds" lipstick, which retails for $62,000 (housed in an 18-karat gold tube containing 2.2 carats of diamonds). [New York Post, 11-23-07]
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Tina Williams was arrested in St. Augustine, Fla., on Super Bowl Sunday, charged with DUI and failure to have her 1-year-old daughter seat-belted or in a car seat. However, a case of Busch beer was safely buckled up in the front seat. [First Coast News, 2-4-08]
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Aussie Rodney McLagan, 48, indignantly told police that the only reason he had child porn was that it was incidentally acquired when he was busy downloading bestiality porn (including that stuff showing sex with .. an octopus). (The Mercury)
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In November, Bergdorf Goodman in New York City revealed that it was offering showings of the Guerlain cosmetic house's "KissKiss Gold and Diamonds" lipstick, which retails for $62,000 (housed in an 18-karat gold tube containing 2.2 carats of diamonds). [New York Post, 11-23-07]
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Tina Williams was arrested in St. Augustine, Fla., on Super Bowl Sunday, charged with DUI and failure to have her 1-year-old daughter seat-belted or in a car seat. However, a case of Busch beer was safely buckled up in the front seat. [First Coast News, 2-4-08]
Manure Facts
Manure... An interesting fact
Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product ismethane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T" (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I.
I always thought it was a golf term.
Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product ismethane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T" (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I.
I always thought it was a golf term.
How to Clean a Toilet
Instructions for cleaning a toilet :
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids You may need to stand on the li d.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely, The Dog
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids You may need to stand on the li d.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely, The Dog
Auto-Response
Great email auto-response messages
by Wacky & Tacky !
July 09, 2008 02:53 PM
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
by Wacky & Tacky !
July 09, 2008 02:53 PM
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
Civil Servants
Ray & Bubba (Georgia mechanical engineers) were standing at the
base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba,
"but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six
inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a woman!
We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Bubba and Ray are currently working for the government.
base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba,
"but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six
inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a woman!
We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Bubba and Ray are currently working for the government.
Good ol' Little Johnny
A new teacher was trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're
stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny Stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by Yourself!"
-----------------
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her Face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
----------------
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't
paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN
and the Cartoon Network!"
------------------------
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police Station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most Wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The Detectives want very
badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny Stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by Yourself!"
-----------------
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her Face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
----------------
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't
paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN
and the Cartoon Network!"
------------------------
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police Station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most Wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The Detectives want very
badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Boob Power
Boob News Roundup: The Power of the Mighty Breast
By Anne Krueger | July 1, 2008
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We’ve long known that a nice pair of tatas can stop traffic. (Although this doesn’t always work as well as expected. When a Dayton, Ohio, hitchhiker exposed her breasts June 13 she nearly caused a fender-bender, but the only car that stopped to pick her up was the cops. They gave her a ticket for jaywalking.)
But did you know that those mighty mammaries (or the frippery that tries to contain them) can also stop a plane, help elect a president, solve America’s energy problems—even save lives? It’s true: The news last week was full of breathtaking tales about the power of boobage and bras. Here, just a few of them.
According to Betty Jenkins, now 94, it was her bosom (or lack thereof) that caused a kerfuffle when she was a young woman flying to South America. She told NPR last week that her mother had given her a special bra to give her some curves. Unlike the usual padded numbers you can find everywhere these days, this was an inflatable bra that you filled by blowing into the cup pads with a straw, which Jenkins did to the tune of a modest 32 inches.
Unfortunately, the bra inflated itself well past its 48-inch limit near the Andes (thanks to the high altitude and an unpressurized cabin, Jenkins says), until one cup gave an explosive pop. An emergency landing and an embarrassing explanation ensued. In today’s restrictive times, Jenkins’s bra would probably be confiscated before takeoff or counted as her one carry on.
In other news, the notion that bobbing boobs could actually be harnessed to produce energy was explored by writer Adrienne So. Anyone over a 32A who has ever tried to gracefully jog knows that the motion and friction caused by your girls can be tremendous. Could a bra capture that front-to-back, up-and-down, and side-to-side breast-shaking action and use it to help solve the energy crisis, wondered So? Or maybe just generate enough to power your iPod?
Several scientists were enthusiastic about the idea (one, a professor Zhong Lin Wang of Georgia Tech, is already working with fabric containing nanowires that will capture energy from motion), but I wouldn’t hang up your old jog bra just yet.
Unless it’s on a cable on a mountainside in the Alps: Hiker Jessica Bruinsma was rescued after being lost in the Bavarian Alps for almost three days—thanks to her smart thinking and her sports bra. Trapped on a ledge, Bruinsma removed her bra and attached it to a nearby cable as a signal. When the cable moved up the mountain, the bra “flag” was spotted and helped guide rescue helicopters to the injured hiker. Talk about rising to the occasion!
Last, here’s a different kind of “support” story. You’ve heard of the white vote and the black vote and the middle class vote. Now…the boob vote! Yes, the mighty breast just might help get Barack Obama elected, if the B4B team at Boobs4Barack has anything to do with it. The site, whose creator I was unable to track down (let me make a mad guess that a man is behind it), invites women to show support for Barack Obama by uploading pictures of their breasts. You’ll find photos of bras decorated with campaign pins, cleavage dressed up with Obama stickers, and one boob on which a supporter has written above her nipple (in what appears to be ballpoint pen): WE CAN DO IT! And I assume she was talking about politics.
The site has nothing to do with official Obama fund-raising, of course, but I do enjoy the idea of CNN’s John King using his magic board on election night to count the boob vote.
Although it’s clear to me from past elections that lots of boobs have been voting for years.
By Anne Krueger | July 1, 2008
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We’ve long known that a nice pair of tatas can stop traffic. (Although this doesn’t always work as well as expected. When a Dayton, Ohio, hitchhiker exposed her breasts June 13 she nearly caused a fender-bender, but the only car that stopped to pick her up was the cops. They gave her a ticket for jaywalking.)
But did you know that those mighty mammaries (or the frippery that tries to contain them) can also stop a plane, help elect a president, solve America’s energy problems—even save lives? It’s true: The news last week was full of breathtaking tales about the power of boobage and bras. Here, just a few of them.
According to Betty Jenkins, now 94, it was her bosom (or lack thereof) that caused a kerfuffle when she was a young woman flying to South America. She told NPR last week that her mother had given her a special bra to give her some curves. Unlike the usual padded numbers you can find everywhere these days, this was an inflatable bra that you filled by blowing into the cup pads with a straw, which Jenkins did to the tune of a modest 32 inches.
Unfortunately, the bra inflated itself well past its 48-inch limit near the Andes (thanks to the high altitude and an unpressurized cabin, Jenkins says), until one cup gave an explosive pop. An emergency landing and an embarrassing explanation ensued. In today’s restrictive times, Jenkins’s bra would probably be confiscated before takeoff or counted as her one carry on.
In other news, the notion that bobbing boobs could actually be harnessed to produce energy was explored by writer Adrienne So. Anyone over a 32A who has ever tried to gracefully jog knows that the motion and friction caused by your girls can be tremendous. Could a bra capture that front-to-back, up-and-down, and side-to-side breast-shaking action and use it to help solve the energy crisis, wondered So? Or maybe just generate enough to power your iPod?
Several scientists were enthusiastic about the idea (one, a professor Zhong Lin Wang of Georgia Tech, is already working with fabric containing nanowires that will capture energy from motion), but I wouldn’t hang up your old jog bra just yet.
Unless it’s on a cable on a mountainside in the Alps: Hiker Jessica Bruinsma was rescued after being lost in the Bavarian Alps for almost three days—thanks to her smart thinking and her sports bra. Trapped on a ledge, Bruinsma removed her bra and attached it to a nearby cable as a signal. When the cable moved up the mountain, the bra “flag” was spotted and helped guide rescue helicopters to the injured hiker. Talk about rising to the occasion!
Last, here’s a different kind of “support” story. You’ve heard of the white vote and the black vote and the middle class vote. Now…the boob vote! Yes, the mighty breast just might help get Barack Obama elected, if the B4B team at Boobs4Barack has anything to do with it. The site, whose creator I was unable to track down (let me make a mad guess that a man is behind it), invites women to show support for Barack Obama by uploading pictures of their breasts. You’ll find photos of bras decorated with campaign pins, cleavage dressed up with Obama stickers, and one boob on which a supporter has written above her nipple (in what appears to be ballpoint pen): WE CAN DO IT! And I assume she was talking about politics.
The site has nothing to do with official Obama fund-raising, of course, but I do enjoy the idea of CNN’s John King using his magic board on election night to count the boob vote.
Although it’s clear to me from past elections that lots of boobs have been voting for years.
Stealing Grease
Greasy Thieves Make Off With Used Cooking Oil as Fuel Prices Soar
Wednesday, July 09, 2008 Fox News
Crooks are stealing cooking grease in light of soaring fuel prices.
In a stomach-churning example of how one man's trash is another man's treasure, thieves in New York are reportedly stealing used cooking oil left outside by restaurants and selling it as bio-fuel.
According to a special investigation by FOX affiliate MyFOX New York, the grease has become a hot target due to pumped-up gas prices and a growing demand for an alternative-fuel source — and it's got some people doing almost anything to cash in.
Investigators said that "people are stealing it left and right" and that the grease is so sought after, it's been dubbed "liquid gold."
It's no wonder. The price of the cooking oil, which can be converted into bio-fuel and used to power engines, has skyrocketed almost 400 percent since 2000. Restaurants that once paid to get the muck shipped away are now being paid almost $200 for one tank of used grease, according to MyFOX New York.
Thieves come — often in broad daylight — with a truck and hose and pump it out of special dumpsters.
Restaurant owners of La Parma II told MyFOX New York that the crooks have become so bold, they've had to set up surveillance cameras aimed at the garbage.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008 Fox News
Crooks are stealing cooking grease in light of soaring fuel prices.
In a stomach-churning example of how one man's trash is another man's treasure, thieves in New York are reportedly stealing used cooking oil left outside by restaurants and selling it as bio-fuel.
According to a special investigation by FOX affiliate MyFOX New York, the grease has become a hot target due to pumped-up gas prices and a growing demand for an alternative-fuel source — and it's got some people doing almost anything to cash in.
Investigators said that "people are stealing it left and right" and that the grease is so sought after, it's been dubbed "liquid gold."
It's no wonder. The price of the cooking oil, which can be converted into bio-fuel and used to power engines, has skyrocketed almost 400 percent since 2000. Restaurants that once paid to get the muck shipped away are now being paid almost $200 for one tank of used grease, according to MyFOX New York.
Thieves come — often in broad daylight — with a truck and hose and pump it out of special dumpsters.
Restaurant owners of La Parma II told MyFOX New York that the crooks have become so bold, they've had to set up surveillance cameras aimed at the garbage.
Another real Einstein
Man robbed buying crack calls cops who arrest him
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
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Associated Press
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) -- An East Hartford man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine.
Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received.
Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics.
During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, "Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?" He added that his question was rhetorical.
Prosecutors later dropped the charges.
Laura Weslund, Minnefield's public defender, said no drugs were ever found.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
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Associated Press
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) -- An East Hartford man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine.
Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received.
Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics.
During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, "Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?" He added that his question was rhetorical.
Prosecutors later dropped the charges.
Laura Weslund, Minnefield's public defender, said no drugs were ever found.
You got What Stuck?
What's stuck where?!
Posted on Wednesday, July 09, 2008 1:57 PM PT
By Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg
No matter how careful we think we are, we’re all prone to doing some pretty stupid things to our bodies. Some of us take responsibility for our own actions. Others blame their defective thongs.
Remember Macrida Patterson? She’s the Los Angeles traffic cop who sued Victoria’s Secret for an eye injury that occurred when a heart-shaped metal fastener in her underwear snapped, popped into her eye and injured her cornea.
The case of the hazardous thong got us talking about the fact that people typically look for some excuse or someone else to blame when they get hurt. Nowhere is this more evident than in the emergency room.
Just this past week, Billy was working in the ER and he saw a classic example of a poor decision gone haywire. It was a busy Monday evening and the ER was filled with your usual assortment of injured, infirmed and intoxicated. Alcohol is usually involved in most of the ER’s most brilliantly dumb accidents. In fact, from 1992through 2000, researchers found that there were an estimated 68.6 million emergency department visits related to alcohol, almost 8 percent of the total ER visits during that time period.
We have to assume that some intoxicant was involved in this particular case, but by the time Billy got involved, it was too late for questions. A middle-aged man had apparently needed to urinate and used a nearby plastic bottle. After inserting his penis in the hole, he found himself unable to extricate his now swollen member from the grasp of this plastic vise. It is unclear what attempts he made on his own, but by the time he arrived he was trapped and had been unable to relieve himself. After a hefty dose of morphine, two young residents and a junior attending physician unsuccessfully tried to free him from captivity. By the time Billy arrived, he was screaming in pain.
Doctors refer to objects that are swallowed or inserted as “foreign bodies.” There are countless stories of various things removed from patients’ stomachs, noses, ears, rectums and vaginas. The bottle doesn’t quite qualify as a foreign body (as it’s the entrapper not the entrapped), but a search of medical literature revealed similar cases of “penile entrapment in a plastic bottle.” In these situations, the danger is that prolonged strangulation of the penis can lead to gangrene and even result in the amputation of the affected part.
Watching reruns of MacGyver would probably be more useful than medical school in a case like this. A ring cutter that ER doctors use to cut through metal was slowly making its way through the hard plastic, but the patient kept struggling and howling.
After a heavy dose of sedation, a carefully placed metal blade between the bottle and the penis provided the leverage needed to cut through the plastic. As the bottle was being removed, the patient was finally able to urinate and, unfortunately, sprayed all over poor Dr. Billy.
In the ER, no good deed goes unpunished.
As the patient was sleeping off the sedation, the ER staff went back to their routine business. We never found out the precise details of how this occurred, but keep your eyes on the local papers. You may come across a story about a certain gentleman suing a bottle manufacturer.
Posted on Wednesday, July 09, 2008 1:57 PM PT
By Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg
No matter how careful we think we are, we’re all prone to doing some pretty stupid things to our bodies. Some of us take responsibility for our own actions. Others blame their defective thongs.
Remember Macrida Patterson? She’s the Los Angeles traffic cop who sued Victoria’s Secret for an eye injury that occurred when a heart-shaped metal fastener in her underwear snapped, popped into her eye and injured her cornea.
The case of the hazardous thong got us talking about the fact that people typically look for some excuse or someone else to blame when they get hurt. Nowhere is this more evident than in the emergency room.
Just this past week, Billy was working in the ER and he saw a classic example of a poor decision gone haywire. It was a busy Monday evening and the ER was filled with your usual assortment of injured, infirmed and intoxicated. Alcohol is usually involved in most of the ER’s most brilliantly dumb accidents. In fact, from 1992through 2000, researchers found that there were an estimated 68.6 million emergency department visits related to alcohol, almost 8 percent of the total ER visits during that time period.
We have to assume that some intoxicant was involved in this particular case, but by the time Billy got involved, it was too late for questions. A middle-aged man had apparently needed to urinate and used a nearby plastic bottle. After inserting his penis in the hole, he found himself unable to extricate his now swollen member from the grasp of this plastic vise. It is unclear what attempts he made on his own, but by the time he arrived he was trapped and had been unable to relieve himself. After a hefty dose of morphine, two young residents and a junior attending physician unsuccessfully tried to free him from captivity. By the time Billy arrived, he was screaming in pain.
Doctors refer to objects that are swallowed or inserted as “foreign bodies.” There are countless stories of various things removed from patients’ stomachs, noses, ears, rectums and vaginas. The bottle doesn’t quite qualify as a foreign body (as it’s the entrapper not the entrapped), but a search of medical literature revealed similar cases of “penile entrapment in a plastic bottle.” In these situations, the danger is that prolonged strangulation of the penis can lead to gangrene and even result in the amputation of the affected part.
Watching reruns of MacGyver would probably be more useful than medical school in a case like this. A ring cutter that ER doctors use to cut through metal was slowly making its way through the hard plastic, but the patient kept struggling and howling.
After a heavy dose of sedation, a carefully placed metal blade between the bottle and the penis provided the leverage needed to cut through the plastic. As the bottle was being removed, the patient was finally able to urinate and, unfortunately, sprayed all over poor Dr. Billy.
In the ER, no good deed goes unpunished.
As the patient was sleeping off the sedation, the ER staff went back to their routine business. We never found out the precise details of how this occurred, but keep your eyes on the local papers. You may come across a story about a certain gentleman suing a bottle manufacturer.
White Cloud (not the toilet paper)
Today is the birthday of White Cloud? In 1996, a true white buffalo was born on the Shirek Buffalo Farm near Michigan, North Dakota. According to Lakota legend, a woman was transformed into a white buffalo after aiding them during a famine and will reappear as a sign of great change.
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Sliced Bread:
According to the full page ad taken out to announce its arrival, the
sliced loaf was "the greatest forward step in the baking industry
since bread was wrapped".
On July 6, 1928, in the small US town of Chillicothe, Missouri,
the local newspaper broke the story on the front - and carried
the advertisement on the back - of its eight page edition.
From the following morning the Chillicothe Baking Company
would be selling pre-sliced bread at quality grocers in the area, thanks to a powerful multi-bladed machine called the Rohwedder Bread Slicer.
Sliced bread would go on to become a household staple and enter
the language as a superlative praising an invention or breakthrough that has had a real impact on our daily lives. The bread slicer that made it all possible was invented by Iowa man Otto Rohwedder who built his first prototype in 1917 but it was not put into commercial use until 1928 when the Chillicothe Baking Company took it on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Sliced Bread:
According to the full page ad taken out to announce its arrival, the
sliced loaf was "the greatest forward step in the baking industry
since bread was wrapped".
On July 6, 1928, in the small US town of Chillicothe, Missouri,
the local newspaper broke the story on the front - and carried
the advertisement on the back - of its eight page edition.
From the following morning the Chillicothe Baking Company
would be selling pre-sliced bread at quality grocers in the area, thanks to a powerful multi-bladed machine called the Rohwedder Bread Slicer.
Sliced bread would go on to become a household staple and enter
the language as a superlative praising an invention or breakthrough that has had a real impact on our daily lives. The bread slicer that made it all possible was invented by Iowa man Otto Rohwedder who built his first prototype in 1917 but it was not put into commercial use until 1928 when the Chillicothe Baking Company took it on.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
George Carlin on Life
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.”
...and you finish off as an orgasm.”
Ruby Red
We found another rock shop on our way to the beach and I got this huge ruby -- there are just not enough gems in the world for me. Beanie like it too and tried to steal it!
Monday, July 7, 2008
A Day at the Beach
This is one of the houses we pass on the way to the beach -- it's up for sale for $1.8 million! We probably won't be buying it.It was so beautiful today that we decided to hit the beach for two hours. Last week I used a sunscreen that caused me to get hives! It took a full week to get over them, so today I used nothing.
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Steve said he found this dinosaur tooth in the water -- I said it's more like a dinosaur turd!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
The Fifth of July Fish Fry
Our downstairs neighbor, Wayne, had a fish fry Saturday and we brought our neighbor, Brent(left), as well. Steve and Wayne(right)fried the fish which went pretty quickly -- bass, catfish, trout, etc. 
Wayne seems to be enjoying his girlfriend's son, Hunter. This kid is so bright that it scares me! Steve brought Hunter up to our apartment to see his dinosaur fossils and monster collection. It's scary how Steve gets along amazingly well with kids -- and you know what THAT means! Steve is the biggest kid I've ever known!
We didn't stay too long -- most of his guests were co-workers and they all seemed to have inside jokes or hostilities that were out of our realm. They just didn't seem like a very happy bunch and I'm not up to fighting to have a normal conversation anymore...
Political Correctness
The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was: *Political Correctness*.
The winner wrote:
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
The winner wrote:
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Little Old Lady & the Cab Driver
When I arrived at two in the morning, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.
So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her late eighties stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.
'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now.'
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said.
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Provided by Nancy Bergh
So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her late eighties stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.
'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now.'
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said.
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Provided by Nancy Bergh
Friday, July 4, 2008
Doings on the 4th
JJ showed up today with a dozen Dunkin' Donuts! What a shame! We drank two pots of coffee and hung out with him.
Another neighbor, Wayne, stopped by to tell us about his cookout tomorrow evening. He's fixing trout he caught in Mississippi and hushpuppies; JJ's bringing the deep fryer. Should be a very low-cal festivity.
We went to Chili's tonight and feasted on ribs!!! They were fantastic and we each finished off a rack of baby backs. The best part, of course, was that it was all free!!!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Celeb's Off-the-Wall Data
SCHOOL'S over. It's graduation time. So:
Conan O'Brien's Harvard undergrad thesis was on literary progeria (early senility) in the works of William Faulkner. And how's that for grounding to be a late-night TV comic? Alec Baldwin, for his NYU acting program, met and then wrote a 65-page thesis on method actor Al Pacino. And how's that for school dropout Pacino? Wes Craven has a master's in philosophy from John Hopkins. And how's that for the director of "Scream"?
Robert Redford won his high school's Art & Writing Award . . . Jerry Hall won a science scholarship . . . Valedictorian Cindy Crawford won a Northwestern chemical engineering scholarship . . . Laurie Anderson? Barnard magna cum laude.
Art Garfunkel majored in mathematics at Columbia. Columbia also got physics major Brian De Palma. Also sculptor Isamu Noguchi, who was a med student. Also - temporarily - Lauryn Hill of the Fugees, who dropped out and scored with her hit "The Score."
Patrick Ewing graduated Georgetown with a degree in art history . . . Julio Iglesias earned a J.D. . . . Reuben Blades' alma mater is Harvard Law . . . Billy Crudup has a master's in fine arts. Believe me! Remember he made a baby then moved to another ladyfriend? A long life ago, Peter Falk's master's in public administration put him on Connecticut's budget project. And since Connecticut's last governor got jail for his creative arithmetic, we can only guess how they both helped the state.
Lisa Kudrow, who studied research biology before going onto immortality as unbrilliant Phoebe in "Friends": "In college I castrated 21 rats. I was good at it, too." Fortunately she stopped because those subsequent menfolk sure could've tempted resuming those academic abilities.
During senior year in San Fernando Valley's Chatsworth High, Kevin Spacey played Capt. Von Trapp opposite classmate Mare Winningham in "The Sound of Music," and both were co-valedictorians. Fellow classmate Val Kilmer didn't make valedictorian.
Heather Graham got voted most talented. In '74, Geena Davis also got voted most talented.
Moby: "In sixth grade, all 120 students were accepted for the choir but me. Instead I, crestfallen, was sent to the library to study. On my tryout, they hit keys on a piano and I had to sing the correct note. I thought I, this fantastic golden-voiced child, had a great singing voice. Apparently I did not."
Harvey Keitel expelled for repeat truancy . . . Jon Bon Jovi expelled from Catholic grade school for slapping a girl . . . Dan Aykroyd expelled for "minor delinquency" . . . Macy Gray expelled after reporting a dean's improper physical contact with her . . . Suzanne Somers expelled from Catholic high for writing notes to classmates . . . Eric Clapton, at 17, expelled from Kingston School of Art for playing guitar in his stained-glass design class . . . The Mamas and the Papas all had expulsions. John Phillips for dropping a typewriter on the teacher's foot. Michelle Phillips for forging absence slips . . . Author Kitty Kelly expelled from U of Arkansas for taking stuff that wasn't hers . . . Author Jackie Collins kicked out at 15 for waving at a flasher . . . Charlie Sheen caught buying exam answers. Also arrested for marijuana. This kid started early.
Hartford's Trinity College "suggested I not come back, which was fine with me," says Edward Albee . . . Harrison Ford flunked out of Ripon College just before graduation because "I slept for days on end." . . . Joe Frazier expelled in 10th grade for punching a classmate . . . Michael Jordan suspended as a junior high freshman for smashing a popsicle on the head of a girl who insulted him . . . Jack Nicholson spent every day of an entire school year in detention . . . Roman Polanski, who went on to other problems, was bounced - from first grade, yet - for saying "Kiss my a - -."
Yeshiva University refused Alan Dershowitz due to dismal grades in Yeshiva High. "My mother got called in so often everyone thought she worked there." Instead, he went to Yale and taught law at Harvard.
Billy Joel overslept his final exam so didn't graduate but was awarded a diploma in 1992 at age 43 . . . Miami U's Jonathan Demme flunked chemistry and thus changed from being a vet to a film major . . . Candice Bergen flunked out of Penn, Ted Danson out of Stanford . . . Martin Scorsese failed the entrance exam to Fordham's divinity school so he became famous instead . . . NYU kicked out John Waters for puffing pot . . . Samuel L. Jackson's '69 civil rights protest bounced him from Morehouse College . . . David Geffen washed out of the U of Texas, then dropped out of Brooklyn College, then became living proof you don't need education to be a billionaire who picks a fight with Hillary Clinton.
Conan O'Brien's Harvard undergrad thesis was on literary progeria (early senility) in the works of William Faulkner. And how's that for grounding to be a late-night TV comic? Alec Baldwin, for his NYU acting program, met and then wrote a 65-page thesis on method actor Al Pacino. And how's that for school dropout Pacino? Wes Craven has a master's in philosophy from John Hopkins. And how's that for the director of "Scream"?
Robert Redford won his high school's Art & Writing Award . . . Jerry Hall won a science scholarship . . . Valedictorian Cindy Crawford won a Northwestern chemical engineering scholarship . . . Laurie Anderson? Barnard magna cum laude.
Art Garfunkel majored in mathematics at Columbia. Columbia also got physics major Brian De Palma. Also sculptor Isamu Noguchi, who was a med student. Also - temporarily - Lauryn Hill of the Fugees, who dropped out and scored with her hit "The Score."
Patrick Ewing graduated Georgetown with a degree in art history . . . Julio Iglesias earned a J.D. . . . Reuben Blades' alma mater is Harvard Law . . . Billy Crudup has a master's in fine arts. Believe me! Remember he made a baby then moved to another ladyfriend? A long life ago, Peter Falk's master's in public administration put him on Connecticut's budget project. And since Connecticut's last governor got jail for his creative arithmetic, we can only guess how they both helped the state.
Lisa Kudrow, who studied research biology before going onto immortality as unbrilliant Phoebe in "Friends": "In college I castrated 21 rats. I was good at it, too." Fortunately she stopped because those subsequent menfolk sure could've tempted resuming those academic abilities.
During senior year in San Fernando Valley's Chatsworth High, Kevin Spacey played Capt. Von Trapp opposite classmate Mare Winningham in "The Sound of Music," and both were co-valedictorians. Fellow classmate Val Kilmer didn't make valedictorian.
Heather Graham got voted most talented. In '74, Geena Davis also got voted most talented.
Moby: "In sixth grade, all 120 students were accepted for the choir but me. Instead I, crestfallen, was sent to the library to study. On my tryout, they hit keys on a piano and I had to sing the correct note. I thought I, this fantastic golden-voiced child, had a great singing voice. Apparently I did not."
Harvey Keitel expelled for repeat truancy . . . Jon Bon Jovi expelled from Catholic grade school for slapping a girl . . . Dan Aykroyd expelled for "minor delinquency" . . . Macy Gray expelled after reporting a dean's improper physical contact with her . . . Suzanne Somers expelled from Catholic high for writing notes to classmates . . . Eric Clapton, at 17, expelled from Kingston School of Art for playing guitar in his stained-glass design class . . . The Mamas and the Papas all had expulsions. John Phillips for dropping a typewriter on the teacher's foot. Michelle Phillips for forging absence slips . . . Author Kitty Kelly expelled from U of Arkansas for taking stuff that wasn't hers . . . Author Jackie Collins kicked out at 15 for waving at a flasher . . . Charlie Sheen caught buying exam answers. Also arrested for marijuana. This kid started early.
Hartford's Trinity College "suggested I not come back, which was fine with me," says Edward Albee . . . Harrison Ford flunked out of Ripon College just before graduation because "I slept for days on end." . . . Joe Frazier expelled in 10th grade for punching a classmate . . . Michael Jordan suspended as a junior high freshman for smashing a popsicle on the head of a girl who insulted him . . . Jack Nicholson spent every day of an entire school year in detention . . . Roman Polanski, who went on to other problems, was bounced - from first grade, yet - for saying "Kiss my a - -."
Yeshiva University refused Alan Dershowitz due to dismal grades in Yeshiva High. "My mother got called in so often everyone thought she worked there." Instead, he went to Yale and taught law at Harvard.
Billy Joel overslept his final exam so didn't graduate but was awarded a diploma in 1992 at age 43 . . . Miami U's Jonathan Demme flunked chemistry and thus changed from being a vet to a film major . . . Candice Bergen flunked out of Penn, Ted Danson out of Stanford . . . Martin Scorsese failed the entrance exam to Fordham's divinity school so he became famous instead . . . NYU kicked out John Waters for puffing pot . . . Samuel L. Jackson's '69 civil rights protest bounced him from Morehouse College . . . David Geffen washed out of the U of Texas, then dropped out of Brooklyn College, then became living proof you don't need education to be a billionaire who picks a fight with Hillary Clinton.
Dog Days of Summer
Today is the start of Air Conditioning Appreciation Days! From July 3 to August 15, the Dog Days, we should be glad to have the comforts of air conditioning. So stay cool!
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In Florida we will celebrating all day!!! Inside!!!
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In Florida we will celebrating all day!!! Inside!!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
11 Best Foods We Rarely Eat
Nutritionist and author Jonny Bowden has created several lists of healthful foods people should be eating but aren’t. But some of his favorites, like purslane, guava and goji berries, aren’t always available at regular grocery stores. I asked Dr. Bowden, author of “The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth,” to update his list with some favorite foods that are easy to find but don’t always find their way into our shopping carts. Here’s his advice.
Beets: Think of beets as red spinach, Dr. Bowden said, because they are a rich source of folate as well as natural red pigments that may be cancer fighters.
How to eat: Fresh, raw and grated to make a salad. Heating decreases the antioxidant power.
Cabbage: Loaded with nutrients like sulforaphane, a chemical said to boost cancer-fighting enzymes.
How to eat: Asian-style slaw or as a crunchy topping on burgers and sandwiches.
Swiss chard: A leafy green vegetable packed with carotenoids that protect aging eyes.
How to eat it: Chop and saute in olive oil.
Cinnamon: May help control blood sugar and cholesterol.
How to eat it: Sprinkle on coffee or oatmeal.
Pomegranate juice: Appears to lower blood pressure and loaded with antioxidants.
How to eat: Just drink it.
Dried plums: Okay, so they are really prunes, but they are packed with antioxidants.
How to eat: Wrapped in prosciutto and baked.
Pumpkin seeds: The most nutritious part of the pumpkin and packed with magnesium; high levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death.
How to eat: Roasted as a snack, or sprinkled on salad.
Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.'’ They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
Turmeric: The “superstar of spices,'’ it may have anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties.
How to eat: Mix with scrambled eggs or in any vegetable dish.
Frozen blueberries: Even though freezing can degrade some of the nutrients in fruits and vegetables, frozen blueberries are available year-round and don’t spoil; associated with better memory in animal studies.
How to eat: Blended with yogurt or chocolate soy milk and sprinkled with crushed almonds.
Canned pumpkin: A low-calorie vegetable that is high in fiber and immune-stimulating vitamin A; fills you up on very few calories.
Courtesy NY Times
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The only things on this list that I consume on this list are cinnamon and blueberries!
Beets: Think of beets as red spinach, Dr. Bowden said, because they are a rich source of folate as well as natural red pigments that may be cancer fighters.
How to eat: Fresh, raw and grated to make a salad. Heating decreases the antioxidant power.
Cabbage: Loaded with nutrients like sulforaphane, a chemical said to boost cancer-fighting enzymes.
How to eat: Asian-style slaw or as a crunchy topping on burgers and sandwiches.
Swiss chard: A leafy green vegetable packed with carotenoids that protect aging eyes.
How to eat it: Chop and saute in olive oil.
Cinnamon: May help control blood sugar and cholesterol.
How to eat it: Sprinkle on coffee or oatmeal.
Pomegranate juice: Appears to lower blood pressure and loaded with antioxidants.
How to eat: Just drink it.
Dried plums: Okay, so they are really prunes, but they are packed with antioxidants.
How to eat: Wrapped in prosciutto and baked.
Pumpkin seeds: The most nutritious part of the pumpkin and packed with magnesium; high levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death.
How to eat: Roasted as a snack, or sprinkled on salad.
Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.'’ They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
Turmeric: The “superstar of spices,'’ it may have anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties.
How to eat: Mix with scrambled eggs or in any vegetable dish.
Frozen blueberries: Even though freezing can degrade some of the nutrients in fruits and vegetables, frozen blueberries are available year-round and don’t spoil; associated with better memory in animal studies.
How to eat: Blended with yogurt or chocolate soy milk and sprinkled with crushed almonds.
Canned pumpkin: A low-calorie vegetable that is high in fiber and immune-stimulating vitamin A; fills you up on very few calories.
Courtesy NY Times
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The only things on this list that I consume on this list are cinnamon and blueberries!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
APA Research Findings
There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are pretty shocking:
1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.
1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.
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