Political Correctness

DEFINITION

Sometimes you are encouraged about our country's future when you see something like this. Specifically, there is an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term: This year's term was "Political Correctness."

The winner wrote:

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Brownies and Party Espana!!!

Hyler and I went to Tractor Supply on Sunday to replenish our mutual sunflower seed supply, and also bought a brownie mix which we obviously had fun making AND eating!


These are our neighbors, Bionett and Leo, and we were invited to Leo's 35th birthday party on Memorial Day at his parents' house. What a terrific family, great food, and interesting conversation. Cousins, aunts, kids, BBQ, homemade potato and egg salad, enough rice and beans for an army, a pool, booze, soda, music -- what more can you ask?

This is Leo's mom, Olga, who recently married her boyfriend of 21years -- guess they weren't in any hurry! Her husband is a retired NYC policeman and a master at the grill. They had ribs, steak, chicken, pork, and every side dish you could imagine!

Here's Olga giving her son a birthday kiss.



Here's Bionett with Leo's two beautiful cousins, Dina and Casey.










Here's Orlando, Dina's husband, (he's a personal trainer and former world champion kickboxer) with Steve and Leo.

This is Orlando and Dina's daughter, Angelina, who is just gorgeous!





Look at the size of this frying pan! They're some serious cooks!










And this is the rice pot!




Almost every woman is Leo's family is college-educated and very smart, feisty and funny. We had a terrific time with down-to-earth people and hope to see them again.

More of the Sister Fix Trip

When we dropped Dick off after dinner, Steve, Slug and I went to Lisa's. She has an unbelievable house! She also had a surprise party for my 60th birthday! Lisa's one of the people (like our late sister, Judy) who loves planning parties and she had decorations everywhere and covered me in black accessories! Lisa's daughter, Chelsi, is a cake decorator and she made me two fantastic cakes commemorating my advancing twilight years.












We had a great time and went back a couple of days later to enjoy Lisa's pool.



We made chicken parmesan one night and funnel cakes for breakfast too! Slug got beautiful roses from Lisa for Mother's Day and she had to fight to keep from crying with what Lisa wrote on the card.








Slug and I have a good time together, even when it's just the two of us! We wouldn't have been able to make this trip if it hadn't been for Dick's generosity. Don't know when I'll see Slug next, but she's always with me anyway!

Sister Fix Trip Continued

Slug made her wonderful buttermilk pancakes while we were visiting, and Chelsi even got to their house early to participate! The three of us played SkipBo too and had fun getting caught up with Chelsi's life. Steve and I hadn't seen her since she left Florida! She's in love again, this time with Paul and he really seems like a good guy. Could this be the one? .

Dick's daughter, Lisa, stopped by with her megadogs and we had a great time getting caught up with her life and loves too. She invited all of us to a pool party at her house which turned out to be my early 60th birthday party, but more about that later.




Bosley loves being with the three girls -- Jasmine, DD and Poppy.

We watched a movie Dick got through Netflix -- "Last Chance Harvey" starring Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson and it was really good. Because Slug and Dick have DVR service, we were also able to stay up on some of our favorite shows like "Fringe" and "Without a Trace."

We were planning on taking Slug and Dick to the Texas Rodehouse for dinner to thank them for having us, but Dick wouldn't let us treat them so he took US there. It was fantastic!
Unfortunately, after leaving the restaurant, we were involved in a side-swiping accident with Dick's beautiful Mercedes and another guy in an SUV. Dick's car sustained quite a bit of damage on the driver's side but it remained operational. We spent about an hour waiting while Dick and the other driver spoke with the police, went back to their house and switched to Slug's car, and Slug, Steve and I went directly to Lisa's alleged pool party.

The Texas Sister Fix

As I'm sitting here with my back scratcher trying to reach the areas that are still peeling from sunburn, I reflect on the fun Sister Fix time we had with Slug and Dick and everyone else we saw in Texas.

Slug and Dick picked us up at the airport in Dick's Mercedes -- it runs so smoothly that you can't even hear it! On arriving at their house we were enthusiastically greeted by their two dogs, Bosley and Buttons, who'd probably be equally as thrilled if Charles Manson had just arrived.

Slug immediately showed me the foil-covered bowl in her refrigerator which contained her traditional and wonderful chocolate chip cookie dough which lasted only a few days between the two of us and Dick's granddaughter, Chelsi. So much for Weight Watchers points!

Slug took us to Waco on our second day there where we went to the Texas Rangers Museum which was the high point of Steve's part of the visit. When he saw the items from the Bonnie and Clyde incident, he was like a child at Christmas! I will never understand how Clyde Barrow's pocket watch remained untouched with over 200 gunshots fired at he and Bonnie Parker!



We had a lot of fun donning the clothes provided at the museum, but couldn't stop laughing when we first looked at each other! It wasn't easy being serious! To be continued...

The Procrastinator's Creed

1.I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

8.If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

9.I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

10.I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

11.I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

12.I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

13.I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

14.I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two- Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

That Proverbial Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?:

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

Goofy Signs

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

On Tourism

Isn't it amazing how carefully one packs before leaving for parts known, with anticipation of seeing people you haven't seen for awhile, and then when you pack to come home, you really don't care? I don't mind packing and because of my dad showing me how to do it right, I'm pretty good at it. His military experience paid off in that way.

Once when I was visiting my parents, I went to a used bookstore and bought a bunch of books which I chose to box up and mail to myself. I packed the box and didn't have room for all the books and Dad just looked at it and laughed. He re-packed the box and had room leftover! He was truly a master packer.

Our neighbors, Brent and Hyler, will be tending to Beanie and Ole and I've informed them that it's highly unlikely they'll see either one of them, and I'll have to deal with Roly Poly Ole's grudge when we get back too. Her resentment lasts less than an hour usually 'cause she needs so much reassurance and touching that she just can't keep it up. Beanie probably won't notice that we're gone... Hopefully there'll be a few bugs around for their excitement.

We're really looking forward to seeing Slug, Dick, Chelsi and the beasts. We're planning on seeing the Texas Ranger Museum, hitting a couple of flea markets, maybe some caves (I've always wanted to spelunk),the beach and whatever else comes along. There'll be lots of card playing and we get a ride in the Mercedes!

When I talked to Mom the other day, she said she'd be crying when she talks to Slug and I from Texas 'cause she can't be there. I think she gets lonelier than she admits. We hope to visit her when finances permit which won't be real soon. She still uses her guilt trips and the last time I spoke to her she said, "You know, I won't be around forever!" Since we haven't delved into bank robbery, there's not much else we can do.

The airport shuttle is picking us up at 5:25 a.m. Monday. Yikes! We probably won't get much sleep tonight but that's nothing new for either one of us. It's a really good time for both of us to have this distraction right now too with the oppressive heat and humidity setting in. At least in Texas it's mostly heat without the humidity!